Anything Is Possible (A Sequel to "The End of Fifth Harmony Camren Fan Fiction")

Chapter 34: Gold Dust (Part 2)

Camila POV

   With Wilma's private chats increasing, the more time I was spending away from my dearest Lauren. Each conversation with Wilma mostly felt like a wake up call, but then became repetitive - almost like a routine that I had to follow in order to get Lauren back. As she spoke in her bold encouraging tone - which sounded a little intimidating at times - I narrowed my eyes to window, getting a glimpse of a bird flying across it. Diving downwards, the bird was gone, but her voice droned on.

   I tapped my fingers on the window sill, glancing at the blue petals painted on the yellow wallpaper - Wilma taking a pause before speaking again. It was nice to hear that Lauren still cared about me, even after what I had done. Almost everyday, her weak body is falling, breaking her bones onto the corner of the bed. She wouldn't have been in that damn hospital bed, begging for communication with the outside world if it weren't for my stupid actions. Wilma's voiced dropped to a slight whisper, a worried tone ringing in my ears as I stared down at the deep healing marks in the palm of my hands, the excruciating pain coming back to life.

   Dobby had struck himself with Harry Potter's lamp, thrusting the lamp's edge onto his forehead because he had warned Potter, which he was not supposed to; he had ironed his fingers for disobeying his master, Lucius Malfoy and he had battered himself with the bottle of pumpkin juice, which lay in Potter's hospital room table for aiming a bludger at the boy. And for disobeying Lauren's trust, I had disembowelled the razor that had belonged to Dinah - hiding the evidence at the bottom of the bin which sent her on a frenzy when she found out she had lost it but bought a new one the following day - and pricked the palm of my hands. Digging the blade deeper, watching my warm blood drip, the smell of the metallic liquid hitting my nostrils, Lauren's image replayed in my head. 

   "Camila?!" Wilma called astonished, glunching at the sight of the eased glowing red stains on my hands. I closed my fingers shut, disallowing her to take another look at my mistake. 'Camila?'  she said a little quieter, her gaze still focused on my hand. 

"You won't understand." I muttered, biting my lip, pressing my hands together; my fingers aching. My nails dug deep in the tattoo I had made, the stinging pain irritating me; the fragile scabs breaking apart. 

"Make me understand, please do." she crept closer to me to be sitting on my bed instead of Normani's, laying a calm hand on my shoulder. 'Tell me, Camila, tell me.'

"I... I hurt Lauren." I began. 'I didn't mean it... I pushed her but she told everyone she just fell to protect me. I can't forgive myself because everytime I look at her, she's falling... She said she was going to be fine yet she comes back in a fucking wheelchair. She doesn't need someone like me who...who hits her...' I blinked, cold tears flowing down my red cheeks. My swollen eyes glanced at Wilma, who kept quiet but nodding continuously. 

"She protected you because she loves you, you know that, right?" I nodded, my fingers trembling. 'Then don't beat yourself up over it. Camila, all that matters now is the future between you two and there's no one out there that should stop it! NO ONE!' she said much louder. She held the both of my hands, forcing me to stare down at the mess I had created. 'Never, never do that again, yes?' I bobbed my head. 'Never again! Self-harming is never the answer to all your problems. Even if you feel alone, you should know that you have a whole fan base behind you, a girl who loves you and a massive family willing to support you. Lauren is going to be fine,' I tried to open my mouth to protest but she spoke over me as if my argument was invalid. 'She's making a lot of progress and you should be there to support her, not hurt yourself. Lauren has been very strong for you and it's now your turn to return the favour. Be her morale, show her you are capable of being there for her in the future.' I nodded my head. As much as I wanted to protest, Wilma was right. Lauren has been through so much with the whole Bryce situation, being worn away by her guilt but yet she managed to cope until I ruined that. I had to be strong for her, or I'll just make things worse.