Complicated Love

Poor Baby

"Jen."

I nudge her, hoping she wakes up between the commotion and Liam's screaming. 

"Jen!"

I finally get her to wake up as I continue rubbing Liam's tiny back, trying to comfort him as he vomits all over the burping cloth on my shoulder.  She looks up at me, very confused and exhausted.

"Why is he coughing?"

"He's throwing up.  I thought I heard choking, so I went to check on him and he was covered in puke.  He hasn't stopped since I picked him up."

"Shit."

She reaches out, taking Liam from me, laying him on her chest as he runs her shirt.  She tries to soothe him while I find the thermometer we have to see if we need to be worried.

"102.3°."

"Okay, we're going to the ER."

It amazes me how quickly she jumps out of bed, pulling herself together.  She washes her hair in the sink, getting the baby puke out of it after changing out of the destroyed pajamas she had on.  She doesn't even flinch while trying to clean off Liam's tiny, disgusting body while I get myself dressed. 

"Is he okay?"

I finally ask what I've been wondering as I watch my tiny, fragile, 5 month old baby heave his whole body forward as he explodes his insides all over the bathroom sink.  The only time I have even seen anyone this sick was when Jen was pregnant with him, and this is a million times scarier.

"We just have to get him there now.  Maybe it's the stomach bug, or he's having a bad reaction to something... I don't know."

She looks just as scared as I am as she buckles him into his car seat.  She climbs in next to him just incase he gets sick again on the drive.  I drive as if the biggest emergency is happening, having no idea how else to get there fast enough.

Once we get there, they pull us back right away seeing a baby in so much distress.  Jen sits on the exam table holding him while I hold the basin under his head as the nurse tries to get any answers possible from us.

"How old is he?  Has he been exposed to any viruses recently?"

"He's been at daycare two days this week, but they're pretty strict on how long you need to wait before going back after sickness." Jen thinks about it for a while, looking over at me for some clarification "They did say a child was sick a few days ago though, but she's in a completely different room in the daycare than Liam."

"He was fine all night until I heard the baby monitor.  He's been throwing up at least since I got him out.  He was covered in if before."

She charts everything we say, taking careful notes.  Liam calms down enough for her to take his temperature again and give us a new basin. 

"The doctor will be in soon, it's important to keep him hydrated in the meantime, so you can try to feed him if he has another break between vomiting.  Make sure to use the call button if you need anything."

"Maybe you should try to feed him." I hold the basin under them again as she attempts to feed him between the violent vomiting spells.  He eats for a minute or two before quickly unlatching.

"He's not holding down much," Jen points out the obvious while fixing her shirt as the doctor walks in. 

"Hi, I'm Dr. Brown." She sits across from us looking over the chart, observing Liam for a little "Has he shown any signs of dehydration other than vomiting?  With a baby that's our biggest concern."

"No, this is the first he's shown any signs of being sick.  He was laughing and stalling the whole time we were putting him to bed.  Nothing seemed different."

Jen talks as if she knows he's going to be okay, like her motherly instincts are kicking in.  She always knows when he's going to be okay, or when he needs help.  Even if I'm clueless, I know we can count on her to pull everything together and stay calm.  She's perfect at this, at being a mother, just like she is everything else.

"How many times was he fed today?  Do you exclusively breast feed or use bottles as well."

"He's had 3 6oz bottles, and I've breastfed him twice throughout the day.  Before bed he didn't eat as much, but he normally does that and wakes up around midnight for more, so I didn't think anything of it."

"He's showing typical signs of a stomach bug, which is minor in most cases. However, since he's only 5 months old and the vomiting does not seem to be letting up, I'd like to admit him for a few hours.  Just for observation to make sure he isn't overly dehydrated."

Just looking at my poor, innocent baby so sick breaks my heart.  The thought of him already having a hospital stay at such a young age tears me up, but I couldn't be happier to know we got a good, caring doctor who isn't willing to take any chances. 

The doctor leaves for a while, letting us know the nurse will be back in shortly and that they will be starting a round of IV rehydration to keep Liam from getting any worse.  Jen and I sit together, huddled up on the exam table with Liam laying on our laps, breathing deeply between sickness.  She seems calm as normal, but I can tell the thought of her baby being sick has her shaken up.  She's oddly quiet, staring down at Liam's tiny body.

"Okay, Mr. & Mrs. Pitt, I'll just need one of you to sign the consents and then I can get the IV fluids started."

Jen grabs the papers from her, signing them as quickly as possible, not wanting fo delay Liam's treatment at all.  The nurse gets everything ready, gently holding Liam's arm as he sits on Jen's lap holding one of his toys in his other hand as a distraction.  He doesn't even seem to notice anything different until he gets sick again and can't flail his arms around like crazy to get our attention.

"He should be better in a few minutes, as soon as he's better hydrated the vomiting should stop for the most part.  If you notice any changes at all in him, please just push the call button.  Otherwise I'll be in to check on him in about 30 minutes."

Jen eventually lays Liam in the little crib they have set up since he's calmed down and stopped vomiting. She walks over to sit with me again, letting me pull her closer as she rests her head on my chest letting her emotions rush.

"Was I supposed to notice this earlier?  When he didn't eat as much?"

"No, he always eats like that before bed.  There's no way you could have known.  You did everything right, especially making the decision that we had to bring him in here."

"I just should have known something was wrong.  I'm his mother, I should be able know when something's off with him.  I didn't even hear him when you did."

"And that's why there's two of us, so when one finally gets a break the other can step up.  We're still learning how parenting works.  There's going to be mistakes."

"I just love him so much."