Dirty Little Secrets (Book1) The Dirty Little Secrets Series

Chapter Twelve-Lena

Hello, Lovelies, 

I want to thank everyone who has read, voted, commented on and added my books to their libraries.  It means so much to me and made this week so much better.  All of you do add sparkle to my life and I am so appreciative for that.  

Also, as some of you know, I am an Amazon author.  However, there are some books on there I want to rework or re-edit.  I am pulling down Beckoned from Kindle and Draft2Digital.  I will leave the original paperback up until it is finished.  It is a paranormal romance.  It will be mature.  In all honesty, I need feedback as I rework it.  Re-worked chapters will be released on Thursdays before 5 p.m Central.  I hope you enjoy it.  It is part of a series and I will re-working all books for that series here so it will not be just the first book.  I wouldn't do that to my readers.  This is actually allowing me to do something I have wanted to do for some time which is make those books better.  

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-XXXX Amanda

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My mind was racing as he rolled away from me, his quick breaths sounding through the room. I frowned as I pushed away the rush of emotions that tried to swamp me refusing to give into the wave of warmth rising in me toward Asher and took a deep shuddering breath as I wondered what I should do next.

"Lena," Asher said, softly and I flattened my expression so he wouldn't see how much this night had affected me before turning on my side to face him. His eyes traced a path over my face, causing those emotions to simmer just beneath the surface of my blank façade, "Are you all right?"

I forced a smile and then, nodded as I sat up, ready to run from the room to put distance between us. Instead, Asher frowned, his eyes tracing over me, confused, "Where are you going?"

I raised a brow, "I recognize this for what it was, Asher," I said, forcing my voice to remain soft, "I'm no different than those other girls I've seen kicked out of your house the morning after so I'm leaving. It's easier for you this way. I live next door. I don't have to wait for the morning. It's convenient."

His frown deepened and an emotion I didn't understand flitted across his face as he sighed, "I'm so tired of that though," he said, groggily, "I'm tired of finding a different girl and then, fighting with them in the morning when they expect too much."

"Then, you should find a relationship," I said, wincing because I knew what that sounded like, "I mean...Not me...But a relationship with someone else."

"I don't want one of those either," he said, rolling his eyes as if I was missing the point.

"Then, what do you want?" I asked, tilting my head as I studied him.

"A friend but one who can do exactly what we just did without any strings," he said shrugging one muscular shoulder, "Someone where we can date other people but once we have sex with other people it's over sexually, but we still remain friends."

"Sounds complicated," I said, shaking my head, "And risky."

"Do you really not want to be my friend after tonight?" He asked, his eyes darkening.

I frowned, taking in his face. I didn't know him well, but I knew it would be better if we were able to at least be friendly because not only were we neighbors but he had become Jay's friend. I winced because I realized Jay could never know about tonight.

"Of course, I do," I whispered, sighing.

"And do you want to sleep with a bunch of frat boys when you've only had sex once?" he asked taking in my expression, "Wouldn't it be easier if you could experience it multiple times with the same person first?"

I bit my bottom lip, "I don't know, Asher," I whispered, my heart clenching because though I wanted to be with him again, I knew how dangerous it was to my heart, "I think it's safer if we didn't."

His jaw clenched, "Fine," he said and then, his lips twitched into a smile, "But stay with me tonight. I don't want to risk Jay seeing you. Go home after he leaves for work tomorrow."

I took a deep breath because he was right. Jay couldn't know. He would lose his mind and I didn't want to know what his reaction would be toward Asher.

I lay back on the pillow in his bed. As soon as I did his arm encircled my waist causing my heart to gallop in my chest. His nearness was suffocating and caused my emotions to stir. I closed my eyes, beckoning sleep to come, knowing that I would have to leave as soon as Jay left in the morning to protect my heart because as I was laying in Asher's arms, I knew exactly why all the girls before me had begged to stay.

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Maybe I'm a coward but I couldn't lay there in Asher's arms pretending we were a normal couple. It was starting to fuck with my head and my heart. As soon as his breathing returned to normal, I managed to move from beneath his arm and get out of bed. I tiptoed around his room searching for my clothes. Unfortunately, I couldn't find my panties.

I sighed grateful that I didn't have a long walk home as I tiptoed out the front door, locking it behind me. I carried my boots to my door, opening it before stepping inside. As soon as I did, the light came home.

"Where have you been, young lady?" Jay asked causing my eyes to widen. Had he seen me leaving Asher's house?

I swallowed turning to face him, relaxing when I saw his lips tilting in a mocking grin.

I rolled my eyes, trying to hide the guilt, "I was at a party."

He sighed as his lips twitched in amusement, "Good."

"Good?" I asked, tilting my head, taking in his face.

"Yes, Lena, it's good," he said, his smile still firmly in place, "It's relieving actually. I was worried after Barrett passed, you would stay locked in your room forever. So, it's good that you were out, having fun."

I smiled, trying to cover my rolling emotions at just the mention of Barrett's name and the loss of my virginity to our neighbor.

"Thank you for understanding," I said with a shrug, "I just think it's time to make new friends...To quit wallowing."

Jay nodded, his blue-green eyes sweeping over me, "Just be careful, okay?" He said, raising one brow, "I don't want you to get hurt."

I nodded, turning to go to my room because I didn't want him to see how much I was trying to keep my riotous emotions at bay and doing exactly what he feared...hurting me, "I will," I said walking through the living room.

"Lena?" He said as I made it to the hallway. I placed that bland mask over my face as I turned to face him. He grinned, "Could you maybe wear some more clothes?"

I laughed, the emotions rolling in me breaking up in my chest, "Maybe."

Then, I stepped into my room. My blinds were still up, and I glanced at Asher's house, wincing. Was he going to be pissed that I was gone when he woke up? I rolled my eyes at such a ridiculous notion as I closed the blinds. The man whore wouldn't care.