Dirty Little Secrets (Book1) The Dirty Little Secrets Series

Chapter Twenty-Nine-Lena

Hello, My Lovelies, 

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-XXXX Amanda

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I buried my misery in studying for the next week avoiding the places I would see Asher...Avoiding home by staying with Becca or the library until it closed bringing me home late at night too exhausted to think of him and my broken heart.

Becca was the one who called me out on what I was doing. Her eyes moved over me as I sat beside her on the couch trying to pretend everything was fine when it was far from it.

She grabbed my hand, her blue eyes moving over me, "Lena, I need to ask you something," she whispered tucking a blonde strand of hair behind her ear, "Who broke your heart?"

I winced and suddenly, I couldn't keep in the tears, "H-How did you know?"

She gave me a sad smile, "I know what a broken heart looks like. The distractions you have used, I've used myself. So, who was it?"

"Asher," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"How did that happen?" She asked, frowning as concern moved over her features.

I wasn't supposed to tell but at the moment, I didn't give a damn what I was supposed to do, "Do you remember when you called me and told me what Barrett had said about me not living?" I asked, swallowing over the words, "I decided that he was right, and I started to work on getting rid of the sweet, virginal Lena and actually live."

She grimaced, "You know I'm sorry I told you about that," she whispered, shaking her head as her shoulders slumped, "Everything in my mind was so scattered after Barrett died. It just kept going through my head and I wondered if I was supposed to tell you. It was one of the last conversations we had. He truly loved you like a sister and I don't think he meant anything bad by it. He was just worried. I know other people thought there was more between you, but I knew different. What I should have told you is what I see that he saw in you. You're loyal and sweet and kind. You're the best friend anyone could ask for. You've always been there for me and you were there for him. You have a heart made of gold. If what I said caused you pain, I am so sorry. I can only blame grief."

I squeezed her hand, "You're not who caused me pain, Becca," I whispered, "But I gave my virginity to Asher. I thought it would be a one-night stand but he wanted to be friends with benefits. I agreed even though I told him it was a bad idea."

She blinked, surprised, "Asher slept with you multiple times?"

I nodded, "And even though I knew what it was and tried to keep my distance, he kept pulling me back in. He would hang out with me insisting we be friends but when we went out it felt like we were on a date. He hated other guys around me. He insisted on taking care of me when I was upset, even making sex gentle and caring and I fell in love with him."

She studied me for a few moments before speaking, "I feel like I'm asking the wrong thing, but I think I need to ask this. Are you sure he didn't fall in love with you too?" Her eyes roamed over my face, "Because honestly, it sounds like he did."

"You didn't say the wrong thing," I whispered, my heart aching, "Because there were times when I wondered the same thing but then, Chrissy told me he slept with her at the last party. When I confronted him, he didn't deny it."