Dirty Little Secrets (Book1) The Dirty Little Secrets Series

Chapter Twenty-Seven-Lena

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I awoke the next morning, my mind foggy as I sat up glancing around a room that always seemed so different in the daylight before my eyes settled on Asher as the memories of the night moved through my mind, causing my heart to clench. In his sleep, his face was relaxed, the tension that usually wrinkled his brow was gone. Like this, he seemed vulnerable. Like this, I could almost imagine he was really mine.

I shook my head because I knew better but then, I remembered every tender touch and action. It was confusing my heart and my mind. He wanted this to be casual but every time I had tried to put distance between us, he pulled me closer than before. It was hard to believe that he didn't care...That he didn't love me. In moments like this, when the clarity of our relationship was clear and the lines weren't blurred, my heart ached.

I stood, trying to put distance between us while he couldn't prevent it as I looked for my clothes, finding them in the bathroom. I glanced at the tub, my face heating. The intimacy of what had happened made my heart ache even more because I could feel the end coming and it didn't look good for me.

I dressed, walking out of the bathroom with my head down, running right into Asher. I took a step back but as always, he closed the distance between us, crowding my personal space with his body.

He cupped my cheek, his fingers gently caressing the skin there, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, "I'm okay, Asher," I said as that dark sense that this was about to end, moved through me again. I could only hope he would be gentle when it did.

He frowned, his eyes moving over my face as if trying to read my mind. I backed away and put on my best smile.

"Lena," he whispered the worry in his voice catching my attention.

"I said I'm okay," I said, keeping that smile firmly in place.

He nodded and though I could tell he didn't believe me, he dropped it, "Are you going to the party tonight?"

I shook my head, "Becca needs me," I said, glancing around his house and feeling as if I no longer belonged there. This felt like a good-bye and it took everything in me not to cry.

"If you need me, call me," He said, softly.

"I will," I whispered, knowing that I wouldn't as I walked out the door.

As I made my way to my house, a tear fell down my cheek. I wiped it away and walked inside with the feeling that everything had just changed between us and no matter how much I tried to wipe it away, it stayed there festering within my mind.

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Becca was awake when I walked into her room. Her eyes found mine immediately. Guilt slid through them as she gazed at me before she glanced down at her hands.

"I'm so sorry, Lena," she said, her body shaking, "I know what it looks like. I swear I didn't leave that party with the intention of doing anything to hurt myself."

I moved toward her, sitting on the side of the bed, taking her hand in mine. Becca was broken but so was I and I wouldn't fault her for that.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I whispered because I knew as much as I loved Barrett, she loved him more. She loved him as much as I loved Asher.

"I was so upset because those questions proved they didn't care about him," she said, shaking her head, "They just wanted to be part of the drama. Worse, they wanted me to be part of it. It reduced him to an object and not the man I loved...Still, love."

I nodded in understanding, "They do that to us too," I said, swallowing, "Have you ever noticed, they don't call us by our names anymore. I'm not Lena. I'm Barrett's best friend and you aren't Becca. You're Barrett's girlfriend. We aren't anything other than that to them."

She nodded, "I've noticed," she said, frowning, "And it fucking hurts."

"I know it does," I whispered, "But in it all, you have to remember that we have each other. We'll always have each other."

She nodded as a tear fell down her cheek, "I know I have you and I promise I won't give up. I'll be there for you."

I pulled her into a hug, my heart aching for the both of us because no matter what, I had a feeling we would both be going through a lot of pain before either of us got better.

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I got home late. Asher's car wasn't in the driveway. I frowned as my heart sank, wondering if he spent his time elsewhere and trying not to think of where that would have been. I shook my head, my heart ravaged as my mind brought images of Asher with someone else twisting my mind before I fell into a fitful sleep where my worries became nightmares.

I woke up late and barely made it to school on time. Whispers surrounded me but I didn't understand why. I moved to the coffee machine in the break room pouring a cup of coffee as a girl I barely knew walked up to me.

"Lena, right?" She asked a smile falling over her face.

"Yeah," I said, immediately suspicious because she had always ignored me.

"I'm Chrissy," she said, her smile widening but I could see how fake it was. How fake she was.

"Hi, Chrissy," I said, trying to brace myself for whatever she was going to say because I had a feeling whatever it was would be something designed specifically to hurt me.

"You're Asher's best friend, right?" She asked, raising her brows.

My stomach twisted as I took my coffee from the machine, "We're friends."

"Well, would you tell him I had a great time last night?" She asked, her lips twitching because somehow she suspected my relationship with Asher wasn't just as his friend, "Maybe we could do it again."

I swallowed, my heart clenching, "Are you one of his girls?" I asked, hurting and wanting to hurt her too, "Because if you are, he only has one night stands."

She pursed her overly glossed lips, her eyes sparkling maliciously, "Well, I guess I'm special because it was twice for me."

I forced a smile over my face, "I'll tell him."

As she walked away, my heart cracked in two as I realized that I had been right. Asher and I were over.