sonder

selcouth

Chapter Seven

Selcouth

(adj.) unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet marvellous

~ ~ ~

My mom, my dad, and I used to spend a lot of our Sundays going to the park near our house. If the sky was blue and the air was warm, we'd be waddling our way down with a picnic packed and a day full of adventure ahead of us. The last time we had done that was probably before Austin was born but the memories were still fresh in my mind, slipping into my daily thoughts every once in a while.

On one of those Sundays, I remember the smell of freshly cut grass and peanut butter and jelly in the air. It was the first time I remember actually being on a swing set.

My mom watched from a nearby bench, a smile on her face that I haven't seen in such a long time, and my dad stood behind me swinging me higher and higher in the air. I know that it was probably not real, but I remember flying so high up that I ended up among the stars. I shouted at my dad that I wanted to go higher.

I remember not being scared either, if anything I felt light, weightless even. I was defying the laws of gravity as I knew them and I couldn't explain the feeling as anything other than happiness.

When I finally touched the ground again, my feet swayed beneath me, eager to be flying again. Even then I knew that I was always meant to be chasing a sense of adventure, an unknown path that I couldn't explain the feeling of.

In the present day, I can't say that I've ever gotten that feeling again; however, I knew that flying was a feeling would always be something I craved.

~ ~ ~

The moment that Damian stepped through the door, an instant feeling emerged in the house. I couldn't even begin to describe it but for some reason, it reminded me of a bright yellow, that was how the room felt.

Whilst making dinner, I glanced at the table to see both of my siblings completely infatuated with Damian, his laughter filling the room in a way that I'd never witnessed before. Everything about him seemed all too perfect and I found myself becoming more and more fascinated with him as the minutes ticked by.

I could also begin to feel myself become more exposed with every glance that Damian made my way. Something about his eyes made me feel vulnerable as if I was standing completely naked in front of him as he took in everything that is my broken family, stitched together with different coloured thread than originally sown.

"Damian, how old are you?" I hear Courtney ponder as I watch her intrigued face look up at Damian expectantly.

"Seventeen." He answers, his eyes glancing up at me for a split second before looking down at Courtney.

"Kali, did you hear that?" Courtney then asks me, drawing me into conversation because she knew that we both seventeen. "You are the same age."

"I know, we're pretty old, right?" I laugh, Damian chuckling as well. Courtney shrugs her shoulders before nodding her head. She abandons the conversation after that as Austin begins questioning Damian all about soccer, something that I overheard him say that he used to play.

My mind goes back to the kitchen, a task that I always fall into with ease. Damian's gaze burns into the side of my body until he finally speaks up.

"Can I please help you with dinner?" He offers.

I shake my head instantly. Him entertaining my siblings was help enough but I also hated having to share the kitchen with others. "No, it's okay, everything is almost ready anyways. Thank you though." I insist.