One Voice and Muttering

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The girl
who laughs
at everything,
talks a lot,
and seems very happy,
is also the girl
who may cry herself to sleep.

When I say,
"I'm tired,"
it's because I've been up
at 2 am
3 am
4 am
5 am
crying,
listening to crying,
and listening to one voice and muttering.

Every day, the same words
pop into my head.
I wouldn't dare say them aloud.
"And I'm depressed, again."
It isn't sad
when you are knocked down
so much,
that you can say,
"I'm used to it."

I'm slowly giving up.
I'm not as strong
as everyone thinks I am.

"Sick of crying.
Sick of trying.
Yes, I'm smiling,
but inside I'm slowly dying."

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