My Voice Through Poetry

Silence

When I open my eyes,
He won't be there anymore
And I'll be dreaming.
He won't be there,
He won't be there.
One.
Two.
Three.
I open my eyes again
I'm still sobbing
I'm still shaking
I'm still broken and bruised,
On the floor
With a monster
And you're still above me,
Pinning me to the ground
And now I know,
This is too,
Too real.
And I'm trapped.
Trapped trapped
What were your intentions?
What are your intentions?
Have they always been the same
And I've just been stupid
And ignorant and helplessly blind?
Leave leave
Let me go, let GO!
Please...
Please don't do this, dad
I begged you
But you didn't listen to me
Because I was nothing.
Nothing but a rag doll for a daughter
That you could just toss around
And rip out all her stuffing and
Sew her right back up again and think,
"Aw, she's fine."
But now,
Now,
You can see my wall ready to collapse
From the high-pitched screams
Escaping my core
That I have no control over
Yes, hands are trembling,
Legs are kicking you
But they're not mine
They're stronger than me
Stronger than all of me
Stronger than my longing for you to stay
Stay with me
Don't leave don't leave me please
Don't leave
I need you!
I need you.
Why?
Why do I need you?
Because you're my dad.
Please, stay.
Instead, you walk out the door,
Without saying anything,
But we both know what that silence means:
"Until next time."