Backseat Serenade (Alex Gaskarth~Completed)

|30|Forever yours, Wynter|

| Wynter |

Song: The New National Anthem - Pierce The Veil

(Could be triggering)

I wake up and I just feel down. There's just a sense of death everywhere. There would be, my sister died in the room next to me three years ago today. I don't want to do anything. I want her back. It's sending me insane.

I can't get her back. That only comes in the form of Ember. They both left me. Shows how much I'm loved, with minimal sarcasm. My mom comes in the room, dressed casually in black jeans and a blue shirt. She sits on my bed.

"I have to work today." She says quietly.

"Okay."

"I'm sorry."

"It's been three years mom."

"I know. It's hard. She loved you to pieces."

"Love mom! Love! She's not completely dead to me!"I shout. My mom knows to leave the room because I get fits of anger.

Fuck it. I don't see the point anymore. It's been three years too long that I've been separated from my sister. As soon I I hear the front door close, I run into the bathroom, getting a razor and taking it apart. I get a single thin blade out and look at it admiringly.

Me: Dear Ember, you won't be up yet, so you can't stop me. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. It's been three years too long that I've been separated from my sister. I love her too much and I'll only be happy if I had you or her. She's easier to get to. You have your own life. I hope Alex and Jack make you happy. Ella is mad with you. I'm sorry. I love you. Remember that. You were the closest thing to my sister I had left. It's just my time today.

Forever yours,

Wynter x

I send it and pick the blade back up. I know I promised, but it's too much. My mom doesn't understand anyway.

I start off with my thighs, creating deep cuts across them. I realise that I spell 'Sis' on one and 'Ember' on the other. I smile at my work. These can be easily healed.

I don't want them to though. There's no other reason to why I'm doing this. I don't want any foreplay.

I've only just realised the blood around me. There'll be more.

I bring the stained red steel to my wrists, I quickly slice some of them before bringing it to my throat.

"Thank you Ember." I whisper. "Hail Mary, Forgive Me."

I slit it. There's blood and then black.

| Ember |

I wake up feeling sick. Another strange thing is, I'm up early. It's got to be because I can't hear Jack laughing or anything.

I pick up my phone and check the time. It's 8am.

One new message, from Wynter.

Slide to Open.

Why is he up so early too? I slide it to see something horrible.

Wynter: Dear Ember, you won't be up yet, so you can't stop me. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. It's been three years too long that I've been separated from my sister. I love her too much and I'll only be happy if I had you or her. She's easier to get to. You have your own life. I hope Alex and Jack make you happy. Ella is mad with you. I'm sorry. I love you. Remember that. You were the closest thing to my sister I had left. It's just my time today.

Forever yours,

Wynter x

What is going on? He said he'd stay away from blades. Please tell me I'm having a nightmare.

I pinch my arm, soft, then harder.

"Jack!" I shout in hysterics. "Jack!" He runs into my room, his hair all scruffy, in other situations, it would've been funny.

"What is it?" He sees me crying and dives on the bed next to me.

"It's Wynter. My friend. He k-killed himself."

"Oh my god." Alex shuffles into the doorway, rubbing his eyes, but he wakes up when he sees me crying.

"He's gone." I whimper.

"It's okay."

"What happened?" Alex asks. Jack tells him and it makes me cry even more. It's starting to sink in. It hurts. Why did he do this?

It feels like there's a hole in my stomach and I feel really sick. That's what it was. I knew something was wrong. The message confirmed it and made it worse. They both comfort me.

"I'm sorry." Alex hugs me. Jack looks at the message and bites his lip, swallowing hard.

"Wynter. How could he leave me?" I shriek. "He promised! He promised he'd stay away from the blades! I trusted him! He broke the promise."

"Shh. It'll be okay, Em." I lean my head on Jack's shoulder, dampening his shirt with my tears.

*

I sit on my bed. I've been here all day, it's now 6pm. I've been crying my eyes out, trying to distract myself with movies and music. It hasn't worked.

Why isn't it working?!

I need it to! I need a distraction!

Part of me is telling me I need to wake up, that this is some sick dream. I wish it was. I really wish it was.

Wake up! Pinch me!

I've been pinching myself all day. I'm not waking up.

I've hardly eaten, I'm just drinking water. Jack comes to check on me.

"How are you?" He asks.

"Shit." I tell him straight. He looks down.

"It'll be okay. You know it. You just need time."

"How much?"

"However much you need. I told Cassie, like you asked me to."

"Okay.'' I look at the floor.

"She said she'd give you some time and that just call or something if you needed anything."

"I will." He leaves after sighing.

Pinch me.

_______________________________________

I almost cried after writing this, and I don't cry that much. I feel so strongly about suicide.

Ever since I created Wynter. I knew this is how he would leave the story. I'm sorry. Don't hate me!

If you are self-harming, stay strong. It'll get better, the climb is long, but the view is great. You can do it.

Update soon.

~ Holly