What I Never Told You

Chapter 36: My Love, Nice.

Cyril puts his glass down and turns to me. He takes my free hand in his and kisses the back of it before moving again. I smile, putting my cup down before moving so I am next to him, my head resting on his chest as we look up at the night sky. I end up moving so my ear is over his heart. He runs his thumb over my knuckles as we lay there.

"You know... This is a nice ending to the day."

I smile, "That's an understatement."

He chuckles, "Is it really that nice?"

"Yes... No fighting, silence, and not worrying about anything."

"You make everything worth it, my love."

I smile, "You do too..." at that moment what Samson and I talk about early pops into my mind, "Cyril... I-I have to tell you something."

"I'm all ears."

"It's about what happened in Warrington. Something that isn't in the files." When he doesn't say anything I continue to tell him what had happened, "That's what Madison has been telling you I need to talk to you about."

"So that is what those scars are from?"

"Yeah..."

Did I tell him about Jamie? Not really. I brought it up and said that it was aborted. That Dean found out and things got worse. So I got out with Madison's help. I really wanted to try to tell him but I got scared. Just like I did when I realised I still wasn't ready to be his mom. Not to mention what he would have to deal with, all the media attention. I didn't want him to grow up around that and I was scared. I was only nineteen, almost twenty, when I had him, you can't blame me.

He pulls me closer, "Well then, I am you told me. I wish you told me sooner so I could have done something."

"Like what?"

"I would say to make sure he gets what he deserves but after the last major infirmary visit you had while you were with him I might have almost hurt him. So if I did do anything now it would be a duel."

I laugh a bit and wipe my eyes so I don't get his shirt wet with any more tears than it is already, "I don't think that would work."

He smiles at me, "I know. That got a smile out of you though... Even a little laugh."

I move closer to him, "I'm surprised Madison hasn't told you yet."

"She did... I just wanted you to tell me when you were ready."

"Why?"

"Because... It is your story to tell. No one else can tell it but you, if they do I will just wait for you to tell me. I don't care what you have done, there isn't anything that could make me leave you."

Cue feeling guilty. I didn't tell him everything. I told him about everything but Jamie. I told him about the first one. Not the second time that happened that I actually went with it. He doesn't know about it and if he did, I don't think he would have said that.

I close my eyes, "Interesting."

I feel him move, pulling the blanket over us, "Sleeping out here?"

"Yeah..."

After a few, I feel him kiss the top of my head, "Every time... I will pick you, my love. There is nothing you could do to change that. You are the strongest, smartest, most caring person I know, and so much more."

I fall asleep, still feeling horribly guilty about not telling him everything. I just need a bit more time. When I wake up I feel his hand lightly tracing patterns on my arm. I snuggle closer to him and he stops for a moment. He goes back to doing it again and I open my eyes. Looking at the sky as it slowly fills with light. I look up at Cyril and close my eyes again. For once, I am fine with sleeping in a little longer.