My Immortal (Abducted by Grammar Nazis)

Chapter 11

Chapter 11 

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

{Trans: I said stop flaming up preps! (Have we stopped yet hun?) See if this chapter is stupid! It deals with really serious issues! See for yourself if it’s stupid! By the way thanks to my friend, Raven, for helping me! (Raven you ain’t helping for sh*t)}

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“NO!” I screamed. I was horrified! Bloody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her f*** off and I ran to my room crying. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room because he would look like a pervert that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park {Is that their actual name?} song at full volume. I grabbed a stake and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so f***ing depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sadly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t f***ing believe it {She had so many earrings even SHE couldn’t believe how many!}. Then I looked out the window and screamed. Snape was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! {…} And Lupin was masturbating to it! {…What?} They were sitting on their broomsticks.

“EW, YOU F***ING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOFILES OR WHAT?” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

“Avadakadavra!” he yelled at Snape and Lupin pointing his wand. I took my gun and shot Snape and Lupin multiple times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumbledore ran in. “Ebony it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” {You can see why I kept that right?} he shouted looking at Snape and Lupin and then he waved his wand and suddenly Hagrid ran outside on his broom and said,

“Everyone we need to talk!”

“What do you know, Hagrid? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!” {Not sure who says this.}

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT!” Hagirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“This cannot be.” Snape said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumbledore’s wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled madly.

Lupin held up the camera triumphantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

“Why are you doing this?” Lupin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his cloak.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. {I have no idea either.}

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Hagrid said and he paused in the air dramatically, waving his wand in the air. Then he swooped in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. {?!!!}

“Because you’re gothic?” Snape asked in an afraid voice because he was afraid it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE HER!” {… *computer flip!*}