My Immortal (Abducted by Grammar Nazis)

Last part I promise

The review for My Immortal- 

LAAN:

Welp. I did it. Now you may be asking, "Abraxis, why did you read and correct that awful fanfic? What was the point?" Well, nonexistent viewers, I did it for you. For your entertainment. Actually there are multiple reasons. 

1. For your entertainment:

As I explained above. 

2. In able to further make fun of it:

My Immortal, not only the worst spelled fanfic ever, it's also the worst written. It's hilarious how nothing makes sense and the author blames you, the reader, for not understanding. In memory of the brain cells that have died and were reborn stronger during this process, I will continue making fun of this in 4 videos with my friends in the future.

3. Because I'm finishing what I started:

Last year in the middle of school I started correcting this, chapter by chapter. I emailed it to myself before the year was over. This year something went wrong and I lost most of what I did. I vowed to finish what I started.

4. Experience:

I'm going to be a serious writer and part-time teacher for money. Today (this year; 2014) I'm 16. I still have a long way to go so I need practice. Though ?I know how to spell fairly well, My Immortal also has grammatical errors that most people take no notice of. Though it has burned my eyes, killed my brain, caused me deathly headaches, and make me shake with disbelief that this is allowed to exist, I must thank it. Yes. Thank you My Immortal. You have made me a better writer by showing me what absolutely not to do when writing.

Now it's time for my overall analysis, which will tear this piece of shit apart. *Breathes in*

Oh my fucking god! In all my years of reading books, writing, and reading other fanfics I have never seen a worse piece of shit that dares call itself a fanfic! This makes the movie Food Fight look decent. I have read this four times (soon to be 5) and the phrase "eye/mind rape" is a compliment. It's an offence to fan fictions everywhere! *Pant. Pant. Pant.*

Now...

Topic Time!

Story- This is an OC-insert made Mary Sue story. This is an example of a Mary Sue at her best. The author twists every damn character to fit her. What would have been better is if she twisted her OC to fit the characters. The story is confusing and broken. It doesn't make any lick of sense. There's no point. I try finding a plot line but it's just all over the place. Story- F+ (Because I can)

Characters- As I said last: She twists characters to fit OCs instead of OCs to fit characters. The author and main character are goth. It's obvious. She made every canon character goth, had them move to her Slytherin house, and made them act completely out of character from the book and movie. Characters- D-

Details- The author of this book made it obvi that every character was goth. But, playing to the Sue trait, she describes each character's appearance and what they're wearing in paragraphs of detail. Only that is explained in that much detail. Everything else is just black or something. But ups for a good images of each character. There is such a thing as too much. Details- C+

Spelling and Grammar- As the fic progresses the spelling gets worse and worse. By chapter 44 it's lazier than text talking. My grand total for errors in all 44 chapters is 2373!!! Nuff said! Moving on! S+G- F-

Other story errors- Besides all that I've talked about, some logical story errors are: 1. If you kill someone, have them stay dead and if you bring them back, don't tack on an excuse for it unless it's explained prior to death. 2. If you go back in time, have logical ways to go forward, to go back again, and keep things period. Camera iPods won't exist. 3. Don't gasp more than twice a chapter. Other errors- D-

Overall grade- F. Read with extreme caution, tolerance, and aspirin.

But at the same time this confusing piece of shit is a bit thought provoking. I've had a stroke of genius and if, only if, the fanfic adds up to it this fanfic would be categorized as "mind provoking genius"! Hear me out okay.

What if this isn't just a delusion? What if the OC is really that Sue-ish but the characters are playing along because of one person's persuasion: Draco Malfoy's.

This is all hypothetical, theoretical, and easily debunked by the real fanfic but think about this:

Draco really loved Ebony but, because of his hair and the way he dressed, she wouldn't like him back. He noticed that she treated people like her as if they were best friends. His friends were treated like "preps" because they were "different". He dyed his hair and started wearing colored contacts and makeup to impress her. It worked but she would love him because of the people he was around.

He begged Crabe, Goyle, Ginny, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Neville, and Professor Trelawney to help him by becoming goth too. He also talked to Dumbledore and he agreed a few weeks into Draco and Ebony's relationship. But he started trying too hard. 

Goyle and Crabe agreed and Neville agreed out of fear. The others did feel a bit sorry for Draco and as well as Ebony, who had an imaginary gothic friend, Willow. Only Hermione played along to that delusion. Harry did agree to Draco but he still kept his hate for Draco; he would hit on Ebony too. Draco knew this and occasionally struck out at Harry. But he wanted to make Ebony happy. That's why he'd let her have three-somes.

Now the matter with Voldemort. My theory is that Draco wanted to makes her feel wanted and give her something to do. He made himself Voldemort. He learned an advanced Polyjuice-like potion. This explains why he and Voldemort are never in the same room at the same time and why when Voldemort leaves Draco comes into play.

When Ebony went back in time, the Pensive was just a transporter to the outside of the school. Draco was dressed like Satan, Harry was Hedwig at a point but he was mostly James (Samaro), and Draco used a reverse age spell on his father, Snape, and Dumbledore. This explains the author's time errors. Draco (Satan) knows what Hot Topic is called in 1998 or whatever. And now Voldemort said 'I knew who you were all along.' This was all done for the love of a gothic girl.

Now this theory is very, very easily debunked keeping the entire fanfic in mind but I had that thought and was like,

        "Oh my god... That could work if everything added up." Oh well. Food for thought, pearls before swine, whatever you wanna say, this is fun to think about. And that is what I have to say on matters. Why don't you make your own theories and reviews on this story or point out any errors I missed or vote and/or follow me if you want. I'll see you Outcasts in my next story. Enjoy my mess of words. :)