All That Matters 2

FOURTEEN

I had kept the secret for a week longer and me and Jay getting along didn't seem right. I wasn't supposed to keep things from him. But I didn't know what I should do. It's been almost a year since i have even stepped fppt on a bar and I needed a bear and advice. I asked Kim if she wanted to meet me and I was planning on telling her about Kelly. I told Jay I was meeting Kim but I didn't say why. He said he would keep the girls and told me to have a good time. I felt so so guilty Jay had no idea what happened and I lied to his face. But that kiss. It meant nothing. I got to the bar 5 minutes after Kim.

"Hey!" She said standing up to hug me.

"Hi." I said sighing and hugging her back.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asks.

"2 shots and whiskey."

"Everything okay you never get that much too drink."

"Kim I wanted to meet you to drink and I need some advice."

"Sure what's up?"

I sighed, closed my eyes and then told her. "You know me and Jay have had problems on the past."

"Yeah?" She said drinking some more.

"Well when he got back from New York we seemed great and so I surprised him with this dinner at home and then Kelly showed up.

"Hhmm I heard about the fight."

"Yeah but this was before the fight."

"Oh okay continue."

"Well... he kissed me and I kissed him back but I broke away fast. I haven't told Jay and I don't know if I should. After the fight he asked me if anything was going on but it was'nt that kiss it-- it meant nothing."

Kim stayed silent taking a big drink of her beer I looked at her with guilty eyes "Please say something Kim."

"So- you cheated?"

"What? No I didn't cheat."

"But you just told me that you guys kissed."

"I came here for advice."

"Erin you kissed Kelly that is something that's gonna be a problem."

"So your telling me that when you and Adam were engaged the first time you and Roman werent involved either. Because I remember you telling me about it and I was there for you. And now you Adam have a kid and are happily married. And by the way I didn't kiss Kelly he kissed me!"

"Okay that is understandable, you want my advice here's my advice. Tell Jay. Because not telling him will make it worse believe me okay? Tell him as soon as you get home."

I nod my head and she hugs me.

I take Kim home because she is super drunk. Then I go home. I walk on the door and everything is quiet. Its midnight so everyone is probably asleep. Then Jay comes to the hall by the bathroom. He walks to me and smiles, he pushes me to the wall and kisses me.

"I told you don't wait up."

"The girls are in bed." He says kissing my neck.

"Jay we need to talk." I say and he pulls away leaning against the other wall.

"Okay?"

"Lets go sit on the couch."

I take his hand and we sit down on the couch. Then I sigh and now I start to tell him.

"First of all, you're my husband and I love you more than anything. You're the best thing thats ever happened to me."

"Erin-"

"No just let me talk, the night that you got back from New York I thought everything was gonna be okay because you seemed so happy and I made this fancy dinner."

"Yeah I remember."

"Okay well an hour before you came home someone came here. Kelly came here. And he told me that he wanted to be with me and he always thinks about me. And out of nowhere he just kisses me and I-"

"Wha--what? What do you mean out of nowhere?" Jay says scooting away from me and I place my hand on his knee.

I knew something bad would happen with this.

"Just randomly he just--"

"Did you kiss him back?"

"I-"

"Did you kiss him back?" Jay yells.

"I pulled away and I should've pulled away 30 senconds later but I stopped it and I told him to leave Jay I'm-"

"I asked you if something happened and you lied to my face! You said nothing happened what the heck Erin why would you--" Jay screams rising from the couch.

I get up as he keeps screaming and I interrupt him. "The kiss meant nothing Jay! Nothing!"

"Obviously it meant something Erin! You didn't tell me about it and you kissed him back!"

"No this was a while ago and your telling me about it tonight! Just when things were starting to get better."

I start to cry and I touch his arm "Jay."

He pulls away and puts on his shoes. "No don't touch me, don't touch me."

"Where are you going!?" I said screaming and crying.

"I'm staying at Will's tonight." Jay said slamming the door behind him.

"Jay!" I said screaming.

I start to sob and then I hear footsteps. The girls were running down the stairs.

"Mommy?" Remy says.

"What is going on?" Nadia says.

I continue to cry and I stay silent.

This was all my fault.

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