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Part Sixty One

Kami's POV

I wake up in the middle of the night, my stomach searing with pain again. It  causes me to jolt up and clutch my arms around my sides, the heavy panging feeling like I'm bruised all over. "Corey," I manage to whisper through the pain that is causing stars in my eyes. I nudge him and he wakes up, sleepily rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong, hun?" he mumbles, giving me a kiss. I push him away. "Not right now," I say through gritted teeth. I lie back down when the room starts spinning in front of me. He realizes that something is wrong and now I have his full attention.

"Kami, what's wrong?" he asks, worried, his eyebrows knitted together at the sight of me in pain. "My stomach really hurts," I tell him, a few tears squeezing down my cheek. He wipes them away, then gets off the bed. "I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back with a warm towel that he wraps around my little belly. Some of the pain subsides and I breathe a little sigh of relief when everything in the room settles back into place. "Do you want me to call a doctor? Or take you to the hospital?" he asks, already grabbing his phone from the nightstand, ready to leave at my call. I shake my head."No, no, I don't want to make you do that." "But Kami," he tries to protest, and I pull him back down into bed, holding his arm close to mine. "Just stay with me ok? Please?" He gives in and wraps his arms around me, as I snuggle in and try to go back to sleep.

We have a doctor's appointment in the morning, so when I wake up, I slowly stand up, testing out my stomach to see how it feels. No pain this morning, so I go into the bathroom and shower, then get dressed in a loose pink top and some black yoga pants. As I'm putting on my lipstick, Corey comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my belly, and nuzzling my neck. I giggle at his touch and try to squirm away, but give in a little to his sweet kisses. "We're gonna be late!" I tell him with a laugh, as I finally pull away and he makes a pouty face at me. "You can have kisses later," I laugh at him again. "Fine," he says with a grin, opening the bedroom door for me and following me out of the apartment and to our car in the garage. 

I open my pregnancy app on my phone while we're waiting for the doctor to see us. "Look," I show Corey with a smile. "Baby is the size of a plum," the screen says. "I'm sure he or she is an adorable little plum," Corey says, sneaking in a little kiss. "Crawford?" a woman calls out. We stand up and follow her to a room. "The doctor will be right in to see you," she says with a friendly smile before closing the door behind us. The paper on the bed crinkles as I shift nervously on it and Corey holds my hand, giving it a quick little squeeze. It makes me feel comfortable with him there right next to me. 

Dr. Amanda opens the door to the rooms and greets us with a smile. "Hi Corey! Hi Kami! How's everything going?" I give her a smile. "It's good. I've noticed a few pangs of pain here and there, but we're hoping everything is alright." "Huh," she says. "We'll have to find out what's causing that." She smears the ultrasound gel on my stomach, then puts the machine on it. "We can listen to the baby's heartbeat today," she says with a little smile. Corey looks at me excited and I smile at him. We listen eagerly for a little thump, thump, but the room is silent. My smile falls into a line of worry as Dr. Amanda's face becomes more worried.

"Oh my," she says softly. "Why can't we hear the baby's heartbeat?" Corey asks, and I can hear the anxiousness in his voice. "I'm so sorry Kami and Corey," Dr. Amanda says. "I believe that Kami was experiencing those pangs of pain because...she had a miscarriage." It feels like all the air has been sucked out of me in one big whoosh. I'm silent for a second and then I burst into tears. "What do you mean I had a miscarriage?" I sob, my breathe repeatedly catching on itself. "Something just went wrong with your body and the reception of the fetus," Dr. Amanda says, her dark eyes sad with the news for me. "I'm so sorry, Corey and Kami." 

Jonathan's POV

"Shit, shit, shit. Laura get up." My heart is beating after Andrew's phone call, knowing what he is trying to do. I can't let him go through with this, I just can't. I push against Laura, her moaning about it being too early to get up. "Laura, something's wrong with Andrew," I tell her. "He's trying to kill himself." She jolts upright in bed and  runs to the closet, throwing on a tshirt and some jeans. I grab a shirt and some jeans as well and we bolt out the door, running to stairs. 

Andrew lives a couple floors below us, so I sprint down the stairs, throwing open the door to the hallway when I get to the sixth floor. I have a spare key to his apartment since he is constantly getting locked out and I thank god for letting me have it as I slip it into the lock and turn the door knob. Laura shoves me past and runs into the apartment. "He's in here," she yells from the kitchen and I close the door and run after her. 

Andrew is lying on the ground, a strange smile on his face, a bottle of whiskey on the counter and a bottle of pills strewn next to him. He's mumbling things in his stupor and Laura dabs at his face with a wet washcloth. "Call 911." she says calmly, but I can see in her eyes that she's freaking out. I dial the number and explain to the operator where we are and what's happened. She tries assuring me that the paramedics will be there soon, but all I can think of is what if Andrew dies. Nick being gone makes me feel like an entire chunk of the team was just ripped out and without Andrew, I don't know if we can even function. 

When the paramedics get here, they strap Andrew onto a gurney and wheel him out of the apartment. I watch as the ambulance takes off down the street, the red lights flashing in the back of my mind over and over again. Laura hugs me as I stare out the window and she holds the pill bottle up. "Don't worry Jonny, he's going to be alright," she says. I look at her. "You can't tell me that." She nods and gives a sad little laugh. "He only took cough medicine, and just got really drunk. Don't worry. Shawzy isn't going anywhere for awhile." I squeeze her tight against me in relief. Thank you Jesus, thank you. Andrew Shaw, don't you dare leave me. I'll never forgive you if you do. 

Corey's POV

Later that night, Kami and I lay on the couch, the ground littered with tissues, wet with Kami's tears. I'm trying to hold mine in, trying to be strong for her, but eventually I give up and just let them fall. Our baby is gone, removed from Kami's body today by the doctors. We've been lying here since then, curled up against one another, not knowing what to do, but just wanting to know that the other person is there, just wanting to know that they won't leave. 

Kami looks at me, her blue eyes wet with tears. "I'm s-s-sorry Corey," she whispers sadly as more tears roll down her face. "Don't be. It's not your fault." I whisper back. I hold in her in my arms and rub her back, eventually causing her to fall asleep. It's amazing how fast something can change your life in so many ways. We were ready for this baby, excited to welcome a new little one into our lives and form and family, but now that baby has been taken away.

I look out the window at the dark night sky and wonder if one day I'll feel this pain again, or if it will eventually be replaced with the joy of an actual little baby in my arms, one that I can give little kisses to and teach how to play hockey and love with all my heart. Rest in Peace, Little Crawford. Daddy loves you forever. I promise.