searching for love

real life

REAL LIFE!
Third Person Pov

IT HAD BEEN CLOSE TO TWO WEEKS SINCE THE BREAK UP. Every day, all Kenzie could think about is what was bound to happen next. She noticed that after a while Johnny stopped bugging her, and she appreciated that. She needed the space to figure out the mess her life was right now.
Deep in her mind, all she could think about was how messed up she was. She didn't have a house and was living with her friends because her mom abandoned her and her twin brother. She got into a relationship with the sweetest guy ever, only she was in love with someone else and ended up hurting him.
She needed time, not only to figure out her feelings for Joey and Johnny, but her feelings for herself. The truth is, she was very unhappy right now and she didn't like that. She wanted to be happy with herself again before she could even think about being happy with someone else. And there was only one person that could help her with that.
Asher.
Appropriately it was a sunday. Their day. She went into Asher's room in the Orlando residence looking for him. "Hey Ash..." she said as she found her brother watching TV. "Oh hey Kenz. Come here!" he said patting the spot next to him. She crawled on the bed and cuddled up to the green eyes boy who was her whole family. They just watched the TV and appreciated each other's company for a while. Until Kenzie spoke up.
"So... I kind of needed to talk to you about something" the girl hesitantly said. "It's okay Kenz. You can tell me anything!" her brother reassured, after noticing the tone in her voice.
She repositioned herself so she was looking at him before starting "So, recently I've kind of been very, I don't know, unhappy with myself I guess" she took a deep breath before continuing "After the whole Joey thing, I felt like a horrible person. I still feel like it. He didn't deserve what I did to him at all. And then with the whole mom leaving us situation... I don't know, it just made me feel worst I guess. Like I am a bad person. And I always feel like she left us because we weren't worthy of her. I sounds silly I know but...I don't know what to do. And I am embarrassed to talk about this with anyone else because I think they wouldn't understand..."
When Asher heard that, he understood. When their mom left her, he felt the same way. It was like he wasn't worthy of her love and that is why she left. But for Kenzie it took longer to hit, and when it did, it combined with the guilt from the break up and made her feel even worst. He looked at his sister and saw her crying silently. He started running circles on her back while comforting her.
"Look, Kenz I know how it feels, I do. Because I felt the same way after she left. But I realized something after a while" he took her chin and made her look at him "You are wrong. And I was too. She wasn't worthy of us and our love. Not the other way around. She was always so selfish and she never cared enough about us. And we did. We cared about her. When she didn't show up for a long time, we worried. When she didn't call or text, we worried. Despite everything she didn't do for us, we still loved her. And that is why we are wrong".
"And as for the Joey thing" he said after taking a few seconds to breathe "He is fine, Kenz. I talked to him and he told me he feels nothing but appreciation for you and the times you spent together. He said he understood that it wasn't your fault that you still have feelings for Johnny. Some people just don't leave your heart. And he knows that because he has someone like that in his life too. We all do. I think maybe you should talk to him. He wanted to reach out and check on you, but I told him I didn't think you were ready yet. But now you are, and talking things out with him again might help you not feel this way anymore".
"And if you ever do feel like this. Tell me. You are the most caring and selfless person I know. You always put everyone above you and I know that hurts a lot sometimes because I do the same. So always remember that I'm one room away, and even when i'm not Ill always be one call or text away! I promise!".
She wanted to talk to Asher because she knew he was the only one that would know what to say. He had a way with words since they were kids. And she was so grateful for him. Everything he said made her feel so much better. "Thank you Ash. You always know what to say. I love you, you are my favorite person ever" she said while strongly hugging her brother. "I love you too. And you are my favorite person too".
After that talk, the not so similar twins spent the rest of the evening watching TV and laughing. They always enjoyed each other's company a lot. At some point Lauren joined them, and that didn't bother them. Because she was family too.
That evening, Mackenzie made peace with herself. She understood that she wasn't the bad person she thought. And she was happy with herself. And her life.
She realized that she had wonderful friends that she could call a family. People that truly cared for her. And a brother who she appreciated so so much. He was always present and loving. And she held him so strongly in her heart.
She also realized that she was almost ready. Almost ready to talk to Johnny and for whatever it was that might come her way from now on. There was just one thing she needed to to before she could do that.

IMESSAGE!

private chat: joey

kenzie
hey joey

A/N: hey guys! THANKS for 3k views! you guys are awesome💗💗 i already choose my next book and i'm excited. hope you guys liked this chapter !! its almost over😬 the goal is 8 votes !! so make sure to VOTE and comment your thoughts!! love you💗💗