Her.

Thirty Seven.

Faye sat on the chair in Jakes living room trying to keep her emotions buried to not seem so animated but it was getting the best of her. Her breaths still quick with full anxiety her mind pacing at a fast pace, her eyes wide as if she just seen hell, she couldn't shake the blame of the hotel room, London's cries ringing over and over...she was shocked to see herself her like this...she hadn't had that much panic since she was twelve.

"Faye, whats wrong." Jake asked softly placing a hand on her arm

Faye looking at him with tears, "I can feel him, Jake...I can fucking feel him." She said between breaths. "I still feel as if he was still with me; violating and degrading me..the cycle of abuse continuing. I-I-Fuck!" She cries as she continues to break down, her body shaking violently. "When-When will it end? The reminder that I'm like him? I hate hate the feeling of attacking people when they show me nothing but good o-or the fact that I can't even be around anyone without knowing I'm in control...ugh!" She sobbed. "The day he left felt as If some part of me did too, I- I don't know why! My heart shattered seeing him drive off and as much as he abused me I wanted him to hug me and say he's fucking sorry!" She screams slamming a fist on the glass coffee table, a crack appearing seeing Jakes eye go wide but he didn't care. 'Oh god, Jake I'm -I'm like him, ain't I? I-I have moments I black out and-and I lose control and by the time I snap out of it the damage is done." She grabs her chest. "I hate him for who he is, Jake! I hate him!" She screams thrashing another fist on the table before it completely breaks down shattering in pieces all over the wooden floor, as she sobs with Jake wrapping his arms around her, feeling Faye break down completely. "I-I don't wanna play tough guy anymore, Jake." She sniffles into his chest. "I-I don't even know who Faye White is anymore."

"Harry can't hurt you anymore, Rose." Jake said softly stroking the back of her hair. "What he did, doesn't define who you are unless you let it. Yes, Rose, the consistency of life fucking you over chance it got is so so so tiring but you got to get up and not let those hits show any pain." His eyes watering trying his best not to cry. "Rose you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and seeing you like this completely destroys me and its my fault. I should've intervened every chance I got but I was so scared, Rose...the little boy everyone thought was happy died when I came home to hear you scream and thrash. I'm sorry, Faye." He speaks tears streaming down his face. "I can't take back the past I know that but I'm sorry that I failed you as you're protecter from him...God Faye..." He pulls her closer. "You can't let him win anymore, you can't that monster control how you live life, you can't Faye...you gotta fight."

Faye held him tighter, "I-I put my hands on, London...I can't...I can't fathom the thought of us being together anymore." She pulls away seeing Jakes eyes puffy with wet tears. "It- it was as if the control I had let me turn into Harry, seeing her so weak made me grow more...powerful." She explains with a heavy heart. "It's not best for us to be together until I figure my shit out...as it should've been in the beginning."

"Faye, knowing how London is with you, I'm sure she'll give you another chance, just means there's more trust to be built, every relationship has ups and down."

"I had threesome last night and yet a single ounce of regret has come to me." She blurts out making Jake furrow his brows. "All I felt the whole night was the freedom with no regrets knowing she was just down the hall, its as if the past few weeks have been growing more and more with resentment with her and I don't know why. She's done above and beyond by being my back bone between the hospital and Mom...yet I can't find a single reason to be in her life."

"Faye, all you know is abuse...its normal to go through relationships and figure out who you are and what affects it has, those feelings are normal you just have to push those fears and see how London means no harm...in all honesty it sounds like you love her but...you're trauma seems to burden it."