Deep Into The Light (Book 3 Of Deep Into The Water)

The Arrangement

Grant 

Damon and I sit in his bedroom watching over Lulu as Phoebe and Liam have their wedding meeting downstairs. Damon sits in my lap and continues to try and solve the puzzle that Liam got him a few days ago. Little moments like these are what I am gonna miss when I go back on tour. Having my adorable son in my lap crying over a puzzle while Lulu sits and stares at the ceiling fan moving is what I now call a fun night compared to my old self who needed strip clubs and nights of blurry vision to make me happy. 

Lulu begins to cry and like the sweet big brother that he is, Damon stands up and wobbles to his little sister's side, pushing the crib back and forth to ease her and alas it works. "She's pretty," Damon whispers. 

"Very pretty, just like mommy, yeah?" 

"Prettier than mommy." 

I chuckle at the thought that Phoebe would actually agree with him. Luna has a pretty round face and dark eyes just like Phoebe, but sunshine radiates off of her when Phoebe is a tad more sarcastic. "I guess she is huh?" 

"Are you gonna leave again when mommy marries Liam?" 

It takes me a minute to really understand what he is asking me and then it clicks for me, he thinks I am gonna leave him for good not go on tour and come back. I think in my head since Damon was barely a baby that he wouldn't be so upset if I wasn't around a lot. I called and saw him for some holidays with my dads and I thought that was good. I feel like a major dick head right now! "Babe listens, daddy will be going on tour for a couple of months ut then I will come back I promise!" 

I attempt to move my hand closer to his sweet face but he moves to avoid it. Ouch! "You're a liar!" 

Damon stomps off and for a split second I think maybe he needs space but something tells me to go after him. I quickly grab a giggly Lulu from her crib and hold her at my hip while I jog downstairs to Damon's room. Phoebe catches me along with Liam looking extremely confused but then again so am I. 

"What's going on? We were walking Clarissa out and Damon came running down the stairs and slammed his door." 

"Here," handing Lulu to Phoebe I move past her and knock on his door politely at first and then pound on it, "Damon, I am your father now open the door! Your mother doesn't allow locked doors!" 

Phoebe and Liam look at each with a wow expression and I feel it. I feel like a dad! I knew I was one but now I actually feel like one! I can do this, I know I can and despite how he feels I will never leave him again. 

"Go away!" He shouts from inside his room. 

I look to Phoebe for help but she waves me off, telling me I can handle it. "Damon Christain Grey-James, open the door now or you are grounded!" 

And just like that, the door opens slightly and Damon wobbles out peering up at me with a judgy expression I have only ever seen from Phoebe Grey herself. "Fine." He hisses. 

I pick him up and take him to the couch, "Listen, buddy, I messed up and I know that,"

"Do you," he hisses again. 

I look to Phoebe because this sassy attitude definitely came from her. She laughs a little and then walks off with Lulu up the stairs to take her bed. "Yes I do, but I was a kid baby. Kids do things when they are scared and don't know what to do but I got it now. I am here now and that's all I can really do right now." 

"I wanna go with you on tour." 

Without knowing what I am saying, I blurt out, "Well, come with me babes, I'd love to have you." 

Damon jumps up on my chest with love and I feel so happy but Liam's look of pure furry reminds me I should have asked Phoebe before saying it. 

oops! 

PHOEBE 

I DON'T THINK THAT I HAVE EVER BEEN THIS ANGRY IN MY LIFE! How on earth could Grant tell Damon that he could on tour with him? He is my son and he wants to take him away for months on end! I just can't believe the selfishness of that man! 

"Phoebe what did you want me to do? He said he wanted to go with me!" 

"You should have told him that you wanted him to go but let me discuss it with your mother first Grant! God, you are so selfish!" 

"I'm selfish? Seriously!" 

"Yes, you are!" 

"What about you?" 

What the fuck did he just say to me? "What?" 

Liam bounces Lulu up and down on his knee eagerly trying to shhh Grant and I silently but I don't care right now. "YOU are the one who is marrying my best friend when I have been madly in love with you for five years. YOU are the one who had a baby with my best friend two seconds after we were officially over. YOU were the one who said no to Damon living with me because YOU would miss him! I am trying with everything inside me to handle all of this but you are not helping!" 

I have no clue on how to respond to any of that so I walk away to my room. How do I handle all of that? I thought we were all good. I thought that I was with Liam and Grant was with Ava that we could just be happy for each other but clearly not. How do I handle this? How do I talk to him about this? 

Liam enters the room and places Lulu in her crib before walking over to me, he is gonna lecture me I know it. "You know he's right." 

"Like hell!" 

"Phee, he has been so wonderfully supportive about us even though it hurt him. I think we could allow him some cushion to help with the pain of life right now." 

"I didn't know he still felt that way." 

"I think that's how we know that he loves us, he chose to sit there and watch us be happy even if it meant we were crushing him. He's growing for sure." 

I shake my head and then move to Liam for comfort and I push away the horrifying thought that a little part of me, and I didn't know how persistent that part was, still loved Grant too. 

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Life is becoming more complicated for everyone! We are getting closer to the end!