The Deal | Dan x Reader 1930's Mobster AU

I Won't Leave You

Hello.

(y/n)'s POV

The door to the elevator opened and Dan was waiting by it, leaned up against the wall and staring at his watch. There was no doubt that he was counting down the time until he would decide to look for me. His eyes shot up to meet mine when I entered and I placed a hand over my stomach.

"You must realize how hard this is for me," I said, keeping my distance. The penthouse was silent except for the soft breathing between the two of us. "I can't deny how much I love you, but I can't ignore this either. Not yet."

"What does that mean?"

"I might spent some time away."

"No you can't."

"Please don't do that," I said. "There's no way I could leave you. I just can't. But maybe some time alone would help me make sense of all this."

"I can't. I can't know that you're out there with our children. I want to make sure you're safe here with me," he said, taking my forearms in either hand.

"I don't want to do it alone either, but I can't think of any other way to eventually be around you," I said, tugging at my arms. "I love you so much."

"Then please let me make it up to you. Anything. Just please don't go." He gathered me up in his arms and I sank against him with a shaky breath. Maybe I wasn't thinking clearly because of the pregnancy. Maybe I was thinking too clearly. I huddled my arms to his chest, breathing in his scent. Soon after he stopped smoking I grew to love the way he smelled.

"I want to leave so bad."

"Please don't."

"Let me go."

"Please."

"You killed him! How am I supposed to know what to do?! I just--Let me go."

"No."

"Let me go!"

I began to beat at his chest and he just held me tighter with each and every pound against his body.

"Let me go! Let me go!" I said, my voice raising as I struggled out of his grip, but he remained holding me. "Let me go...Let me..." I let out a breath as we both sank to the floor with my weight. I collapsed to my knees placing my forehead against his shoulder, feeling his steady hands on my back.

"I'm sorry," he said, placing a gentle kiss against the top of my head before taking his arms away from me. "Truly you must know that is all in the past and you are my present and future. You've changed me for the better, you have been since you walked in my office door whether you know it or not. I wish I could undo it, even if it meant not knowing you. I don't want to hurt you and it kills me that I did. I wish I could take it back. I love you."

I shivered and he took me up in his arms again, letting me hold onto him if I wanted.

"When you left my office that day I felt such a regret for what I did. I wish I could take back all the bloodshed and take back any pain I caused you. I never want to hurt you again."

I gripped his shirt, laying against him. I can't leave.

"Do you remember when I came to get you back working for me? When you stitched me up and put me to bed despite the fact it was nearing dawn. No one had showed me that kind of care or kindness. Not since my mother. Not since Phil. I remember meeting Phil, he was so utterly ridiculous and you could tell he was the kind of kid who didn't get along too well with other kids, but it wasn't his fault. He was selling newspaper outside the alley I was staying in and he brought me to his paper seller and bought me a stack to sell myself. I was too stupid to realize what a huge gesture that was, but I found such a comfort in calling him my best friend. All those years and then you came along and showed me that kindness and fire and I just couldn't stop myself. I couldn't tell you what I had done or you'd see me as a monster. I couldn't lose you."

I listened to his soothing voice speak to me words I had never expected him to say. I knew he loved me and I him, but I never knew how important I was to him.

"The amount of times I've almost lost you makes me crazy (y/n). I can barely take it because I know I don't deserve you and yet you keep coming back. I don't want to lose you for real this time," he murmured and I felt tears drip down my cheeks.

"You won't."

He let go and we both stood. I let him place a gentle kiss against my lips.

I won't leave.

"Dan?"

"Yes love?"

"I forgive you."

"Thank you," he breathed and I felt a sudden jolt at my stomach. I placed a hand on it with wide eyes.

"Kick."

"What?"

"Kick!" I said, wiping away at my face and he placed a hand on my stomach just to feel what I had been talking about. His eyes widened and he looked to me with a smile. Everything seemed to dissolve under the influence of one of the babies' actions.

"I love it. And you."

"I love you too," I said, feeling it again. He pulled me into a hug and we ended up gently swaying to the silence, as close as we could get with my stomach between us.

~Calymari