A Descent into Darkness

The Blue Crab

I sit at the counter of the bar known as The Blue Crab, taking slow, individual gulps of my non-alcoholic beer. I'm not here disguised. I'm not here to kill anyone. I'm Erin Kowalski, out for a drink, building the confidence to head to a larger bar and look for a one-night stand. I certainly won't find one here. On account of the fact that I'm usually the only one here.

I used to wonder how the place stayed in business with so little obvious clientele. There's not even a backroom to conduct illegal business out of, just one tiny bathroom for both men and women. Jenny told me the owner doesn't care about how much money this place makes, that he owns it for some kind of tax benefit, though neither of us quite understand it. Whatever it is, the benefits outweigh the costs for him. Neither Jenny nor I care, gives us both a place that suits our purposes.

Jenny's one of only five people in the world I actually enjoy the company of. The other four being my parents, Ronnie, and of course, Nate. Jenny's twenty-four, and an international student from India. She's here studying to be a lawyer which happens to be my career path, one of the reasons we hit it off. We often discuss the cases her professors have given her.

Tonight, as I sit here at the tiny bar, sipping my fake beer, she's seated on the other end, her head buried deep in some law textbook. Knowing the cost of law school, I once asked why she works here when there were so few paying customers to tip her. She explained her parents made her finding employment a condition of them paying for her studies in Canada. But they didn't specify where she had to work. Therefore, she looked for a place she would get paid to study and found this one. That's another reason I like her. How she games the system to her advantage.

Tonight however, the conversation was limited to a greeting and my drink order, which honestly, given my aversion to alcohol, is the same every night. Then she went to her studying, and I went on reviewing the memory of the porn videos I've been reviewing since MonkeyLover made his demands yesterday. It all seems pretty straightforward. Now I just need to make sure I really learn on the first time so that the next time I can keep the customer satisfied.

As I sit there, I hear the sound of the door to the street opening, briefly letting in the sound of passing cars and breaking my peaceful atmosphere.

I look over to see a young man, probably around a couple years older than me, coming into the bar. I believe his name is Mark, based on hearing him and Jenny talk in the past. He's one of the very few people who actually come in here besides me. Right now, he looks like how a normal person would react if a truck hit their puppy. Which is to say, he looks miserable. I assume that's how a normal person would react if a dog hit their puppy? Me, I would just be upset I didn't kill it myself.

"Rough day, Mark?" Jenny asks, closing her book and standing up.

"Does coming home early to surprise your girlfriend and finding her with the landlord count?" Mark replies, holding back tears.

"Ah, I'm sorry," Jenny says comfortingly, while leaning against the bar and I reflect on how many people I know who have been cheated on, such as Ronnie. "What can I get you?" she asks.

"Whiskey," he answers. "And keep them coming. Even if it kills me."

Another night, pal.

"Can't let it get that far, but I can give you a few drinks and be an ear for you to mouth off to about women," Jenny replies helpfully.

"Whatever, just get me fucking wasted," Mark says, taking the stool next to me at the counter.

Jenny places the small shot glass in front of him before retrieving the whiskey bottle.

"Just leave it," Mark says, pointing at the bottle. "I'll drink at my own pace."

"Fine, but if you go too crazy, I will stop you," Jenny warns.

"Yeah, yeah, just give me the fucking booze," Mark complains. He fills the glass and downs it in one gulp as Jenny stands behind the bar watching. I figure she has no plans of returning to her studies while this dick is in the bar. Mark then seems to notice me.

"Take some unsolicited advice, sweetheart," he says in a way which seriously makes me consider just stabbing him outside and hoping the police consider it a mugging, "don't ever fall in love. They'll break your heart and make you lose all faith in humanity."

"Buddy, if you knew what went on in my head, you'd have no faith in humanity to lose," I reply without turning to look at him, but just continuing to sip my beer.

I go back to the own uncertainties in my head that I'm trying to calm down about. It's more than just being good enough to get MonkeyLover to back off. I need someone to practice with who wouldn't bolt if I have a rough start. Preferably someone who's in a bit of a vulnerable position and not in the most rational state of mind...I turn to look at Mark who appears to have just gulped his third whiskey.

"Want to fuck?" I ask him.

He turns to look at me. "Excuse me?"

"I said, do you want to fuck?" I repeat, a little louder. I note Jenny staring at me, shocked, given that I've never shown the slightest interest in boys.

Mark also seems slightly confused. "Not that I'm uninterested," he says, his eyes checking me out briefly, a note of caution in his voice, "but why would you want to fuck the random crying while drunk guy in a bar?"

I briefly debate how truthful to me in my answer before deciding honesty is the best policy. "Because I'm still a virgin, and there's someone I need to satisfy soon, but I need to practice. Based on what I've seen tonight you're a first-rate asshole who I totally wouldn't feel bad if I gave you a disappointing night, but you also seem like someone who would go for a rebound one-night stand."

Both Mark and Jenny stare at me, amazed by my candor.

"I mean," I continue, "I would of course have to obtain verbal confirmation from you that you have no sexually transmitted diseases before we did this. Though, just to be safe, and while I am on the pill to regulate my period, I fully expect you to use condoms. For protection from pregnancy, and AIDs. And I cannot stress enough that if we do this, it is just sex. No attachments, no date number two, no swapping of numbers. We fuck, I leave, and the only time we ever see each other again is when we happen to be in this bar at the same time. Do you accept my terms?"

Jenny's face tells me she expects me to be rejected flat out. Her reaction when Mark says he's clean, has condoms and that he'll get us an Uber to take him back to his place is priceless. After he walks outside to wait for it, she leans in to me.

"Look, Erin, I'm the last to judge someone for casual or rebound sex, but you really want your first time to be with someone like Mark? In his state? Assuming everything you said was true and all?"

"Oh, it was true," I reply. "And honestly, I'd be okay if my first time is lame. It'll make all the subsequent good sex I have all the more enjoyable."

I place a fifty on the counter. "Keep thechange," I say. With that, I stand up and head outside to the street where Markis standing, waiting for an Uber.