A Descent into Darkness

A First Date

I exit my car after parking on in front of a Scotiabank on Dundas, a few storefronts down from Salvini's Ristorante. There are parking spots closer to the restaurant, but I want to be captured by at least some security cameras before reaching the restaurant. I'll be a lot more confident I'm coming out of this alive if there's a record I was here. I appreciate the irony of a serial killer taking these steps.

My heart is pounding. This night has consumed my thoughts for days. It's easy to forget that I still have schoolwork to do, parents to interact with and other appearances to keep up.

After a couple days of agonizing over what to wear, I settled on my current outfit, a smart looking black and white business suit. It's perfect. Sure, it generously shows off my form, but appearance was only one of many considerations I put into it. It was probably only the third most important factor actually.

First was mobility. If something goes wrong in that restaurant tonight, I must either be able to get out of there as quick as I can, or if I can't escape, at least I can go down swinging. I do know that no matter what, I don't want to die helpless, like my victims. Of course, the best way to avoid that would have been to not come here tonight. But we'll address that decision in a minute.

Second was in clothing storage space. The suit I'm wearing right now is special made with hidden compartments, perfect for the storage of small firearms or blades. I'm not carrying any right now, mostly because I can't rule out the possibility that I will be searched on arrival. But that doesn't mean I won't get the chance to grab something as a weapon once I'm inside.

As mentioned, I had considered just not showing up. But that would mean having to go on the run. Not to avoid the cops mind you. Sure, Eve threatened to expose me to the Homicide department, but the more that I think about it, the more that threat seems a little hollow. She wouldn't dare risk having me arrested. Not when I know who she is and can expose everything about her. No, she would just have me killed. I would have to go on the run to avoid the mob forces she would send after me to shut me up. I'm no John Wick. I can stealthily take unprepared, drunken and drugged individuals down, but I can't fight off a wave of professional and determined attackers.

Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she wouldn't send people after me. Maybe she would just do it herself, like she did Roskovitz. I feel like she would want to be the last thing I saw.

But back to the fact that I'm here and not on a plane bound for my family's ancestral home of Warsaw. I could of course say I'm just worried about travelling right now for health reasons. It seems this virus from China is starting to pop up in countries outside its point of origin. But they can probably stop it before it gets too bad. Even if it got bad, it would be bullshit to say that's the reason I'm not running.

The truth is, I wanted to be here. That inexplicable magnetism of Eve has continued to work on me. Ever since that night when her skin pressed to mine, when her leg rubbed against my pussy, when she left that body for me to dispose of... showcasing her complete dominance over me.

I won't lie, I want to kill her. I want to completely obliterate her. But at the same time. I want her to hold me and never let go. If I had to guess why, I would say it's because Eve has accepted me, and she's kind of like me. Even if she isn't quite as homicidal as me, at least as far as I can tell. It's kind of like my bond with Ronnie. I grew fond of him thanks to his accepting me, at least the parts of me that he knows about, when no one else would, and we were both kind of outsiders. He of course was an outsider because he was gay, and I was an outsider because I had no idea how to interact with people without thinking about killing them. How ironic that I was just as into women all along as he was into boys, and I just didn't know it?

I pay for parking with the GreenT app on my phone. I then open my WhatsApp and send a message to Ronnie.

At Restaurant now. Salvini's Ristorante in the Junction, meeting Evangelia Shepperd. If you don't hear from me by the morning, send this message to my parents and call the TPS.