A Descent into Darkness

Bad News

I'm sitting at home on the couch, watching Prime Minister Trudeau's daily coronavirus press briefing on CBC news with my father.

It has been a month since that night at Veronica's. And ever since, while my relationship with Rachel has been progressing well, with nights of movies and pajamas at her place, dinners out, and other traditional acts associated with the new relationship, the world around us has gone to shit.

The coronavirus which, just a month ago looked like it may be a minor inconvenience like H1N1 or Ebola, has evolved into a global pandemic. Schools and businesses are being shutdown across the country, and today, Trudeau is urging everyone who is abroad to return immediately, before things get worse.

"Did you think things could get so bad?" I ask Dad.

He sighs. "I never thought it would get like this, if only because I didn't think the world's leaders could be so fucking incompetent. Let me tell you, if this keeps up, we may well run out of protective equipment at work. "

"But you're in pediatrics. Would you be dealing with many COVID cases anyway?

"Not yet, but if we reach a point like New York or Italy then it'll be all hands on deck, regardless of what department we work in."

"Well, just be careful, okay?"

"Always, buddy," he replies as my phone starts to buzz in my pocket. I pull it out and see it's Dr. James.

"I'll be right back," I say, standing up and heading out the back door before answering it. "Hello?"

"Nate, Dr. James here, how are you?" come's his jovial voice, though not quite as chipper as usual.

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Oh, busy, I'm sure you've heard this pandemic, bad as it is for physical health, is not exactly leaving mental health untouched either. Suddenly, a lot of my patients are wanting a lot more regular sessions. The problem is, it seems it's no longer safe to meet in person. Which is actually why I'm calling. I'm afraid that, due to the pandemic, we're going to have to change our sessions to a virtual setting, if that's okay with you."

"Yeah, of course," I reply, pacing back and forth in the yard. "Same time as normal?"

"Definitely. Although, there is one other piece of bad news I have to share, also due to the pandemic."

"What's that?"

"Well," he hesitates, and I immediately feel a sense of alarm, "it's Dr. Sanchez. With all the borders being closed all over the world, she can't get in the country. Even if she could, she's occupied in Uruguay, helping them prepare for when this hits there."

As he speaks, I start having flashbacks, to every close call, every near attempt, to the big actual attempt. It feels like the hope which had been sustaining me ever since he first suggested Dr. Sanchez as a solution is slipping away.

"So, what you're saying is that I'm stuck like this until the pandemic is over? That could be months! What am I supposed to do until the, try to kill every person I see?" I ask, a sense of horror coming over me.

"Nate, I can hear your upset, but it won't be as bad as you think," Dr. James, promises me. "You've managed to hold yourself together for years, it's just getting extended by a little bit. And I'll be here, as I always am, to help you get through it. This should be over in a few months anyways."

"You don't understand! I can barely hold it together as it is. Only knowing there was an end date to all of this was getting me through it. Now you're telling me it's not going to happen?"