A Descent into Darkness

Nate and Rachel

"So," Rachel says as she comes to join us at the table and my fists tighten, "what have you two been up to the last twelve years?" referring to Syed and me.

"Plotting ways to kill you," I say before I can stop myself. I can't help it. The words are out before I can stop myself.

"Oh, Nate, stop it," Veronica says, looking embarrassed. It's as if she's wondering if this was a good idea.

But Rachel doesn't seem particularly disturbed. Nor does she seem to think I'm joking. Instead, her face shifts to a regretful smile. "I see I'm not the only one who hasn't forgotten our past. Nate, I am so sorry for everything that happened back then. I was an absolute cunt, I admit it. I wish I could take it all back."

"Um," I pause, not sure how to respond. I had kind of expected her to be witty or just a plain old bitch in her response. I'm don't know what to say in the face of what seemed to be a sincere apology.

"Wait, did you just say, 'cunt?'" Syed asks. He turns to Veronica who's taking a sip from her drink. "How come when I say it, I get slapped in the face? But when she says it, you sit there drinking water?"

"Because you're a man," Veronica replies without missing a beat. "By the way," she reaches over and slaps him in the face, "that's for saying it just now."

Syed laughs. We all do, despite having just seen Veronica attack a friend. Because we all know the interaction was entirely mutual. Its just another part of our friendship dynamic. If anyone else laid a hand on Syed, Veronica would destroy them. If she got to them before I did. I then realize that in the levity of the last few moments I forgot entirely about what I wanted to do to Rachel when she came in.

"I don't even like the word that much," Rachel admits. "But I love the comedian who said it. You guys ever heard of Jim Jefferies?"

My head snaps up at the mention of my all-time favourite standup comic. "Wait," I say, looking at her, my anger at Veronica evaporated, "you're saying you like him too?"

"Oh, I practically worship him," Rachel replies.

"Which baffles me," Veronica says, shaking her head. "From what I know about you and Nate, you're both feminists and social justice warriors, or so you claim, and yet you love a guy who seems to never stop making misogynistic jokes."

"Oh, come on Veronica," Rachel says playfully. "His stuff's not that bad. Listen." She imitates an Australian accent. "And still to this day, women only earn seventy percent of what men earn in the workplace. And of course, that's disgusting. How dare women earn so much?"

Rachel and I burst out laughing like old friends, as one of my best friends in the world rolls her eyes at me, and the other look's jealous that he's not allowed to make these jokes himself.

"And what about that one in his second Netflix special?" I ask, now thoroughly enjoying myself. Now it's my turn to mimic the accent. "The only time the hate mail bothers me, is when it's directed at my girlfriend. The mother of my child. They say you have no self-respect going out with Jim Jefferies. And I hate that. Because she knows that. She doesn't need you people bothering her, she has fucking chores to do."

Rachel and I laugh harder than ever.

"I really don't get what's so funny about that," Erin says.

"The truth is, I don't get it either," I admit. "Maybe it's his accent." In Veronica's direction I mouth, "thank-you."

She winks at me in return. I must admit, she was right. It's been only three minutes and I've already stopped thinking of killing Rachel. Though it's still too early to judge just how much we have in common. There's no guarantee this is going anywhere.