Lapidot: I will always choose you (Human Au)

20

Three months later
L

apis POV
I can’t believe today is the day, the day I’ve been dreading since she told me. Walking towards her house because I know I couldn’t drive my knees are too weak and my eyes are too blurry. I’m not ready to say goodbye, but this is what she deserves after her parents, Jasper, losing me, her depression she deserves every blessing even if they don’t all include me.
    I remember being excited to go to her house and find her in her room working on another project, I got so comfortable there most of my clothes are at her house, she buys my favorite snacks, movie night was always on Friday in her room we alternated who picked the movie each… what I’m trying to say is I’m going to miss her so much.

    It took every bone in my body to not run away when I rang the doorbell, I can’t face the crushing reality this is gonna be my last time seeing her in a long time. I already miss her, does that make me weak?

Peridot POV
I haven’t even packed my bags yet or get out of my bed, I’d thought leaving would be easy. I have thought about this day ever since my parents died, but now that the day has come, it seems like I’m losing more than I’m gaining. I just got Lapis back I can’t just leave her but the college board send they are only offering this once, it’s now or never but is it worth it.
    I’m not just leaving Lapis, I’m leaving the last place my parents ever lived and my childhood home. I want to stay here, I want to live my life here with Lapis is my home but I know not all my dreams can come true. Maybe in the future we meet again and pick up exactly where we left off.

The ride to the airport was exactly how I imagined but the exact opposite, she hasn’t looked at me since we got in the car nor has she spoken a word since the silent hello when she arrived. I feel like it was best, no words can make this moment any easier but I wanted us to talk I want her to tell me it’s going to be okay. It is bad I feel like this is the end of us? Can she feel it to? Lapis I am sorry I’m such a coward that I can’t even admit my fears to you, I’m the one causing your suffering and I’m not even trying to make you feel safe like I promised I would.

Lapis POV
There was a lot of people but my eyes were locked in on Peri as if I were to look away she would disappear into the crowd, and I refuse to let that be the way I lose her for four years. I’m going to miss you Peri, more than you could possibly imagine, I promise I’ll be strong for you… for us.
    I guess this is it, my skinny little girlfriend with two suitcases in hand expecting me to say something, but I didn’t I just stood there trying to take in and memorize every feature. I wonder in four years will I remember her face the way it is today, or will her green eyes fade from my memories, leaving me with only vage images. She wraps her arms around me tightly, she knows it too that in some way this is the end despite our promise. I hug her back not as tight so it’s easier to let go, by being focused on how hard I hug her I didn’t even notice how she’s hiding her natural scent of red doritos and green mountain dew with cheap cologne that’s probably rubbing off on me. I swear, I didn’t notice how she didn’t comb her hair or how she has bags under her eyes like she hasn’t slept in weeks or even how I can feel her stomach rumbling… I’m proud I didn’t let myself notice these things.
    This goodbye is hard, one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced but crying now that was easy. Crying on her shoulder that was easy it always has been, even know when she is the reason for my sorrow and how she will be for the lonely months ahead. She pulls away as I wipe my tears, even though we aren’t touching our souls and hearts are still infused with each other when she stares deeply into my eyes. This moment needs no words, it’s best if we stay quiet. She kissed my lips hard as her plane is called, the only way I can express the feeling of when she pulled away was my spine being ripped out my body… I felt weak. Although nothing compares seeing her get on the plane… seeing her take off… see her leave me. Goodbye Peridot, I’ll miss and love you.

Peridot POV
Goodbye mom and dad, goodbye Beach City, goodbye Lapis…. I’ll miss and love you too.