Lapidot: I will always choose you (Human Au)

18

Lapis POV
Blah Blah Blah it’s strange what your brain decides to hear, I can listen to Peridot talk about her robinoids and how they work for hours but with this teacher I cannot understand a damn word he says. I miss her, her scent, her smile, her touch… her kisses… thinking of her makes me light headed. There are no words to describe how’ve close me and Peri have gotten in the past month, she told me about what happened to her parents I could tell she is still grieving of it, obviously it happened not too long ago.

    “They just went out to the store that they’d only be gone for a short while, they’d even said they’ll get me some mountain dew” Peridot said very coldly but I knew she was choking on her own tears. I wanted to hold her but I know Peridot isn’t the type of person that likes to be held when she’s in her emotions. I stay silent and wait for her to be ready.
    “Next thing I know there’s a knock on the door I found it strange since my parents don’t knock and we weren’t expecting anyone… so when I opened the door and there were two policemen. The first one was extremely fit but I can see the donut rums and the faint smell of liquor on him, but his voice was deep and rough which sent a chill down my spine when he told me ‘Are you Peridot Green? I regret to inform you that your parents have been in an accident, they died before we had gotten there’… he had said more but his voice just faded. I just imagined their body’s laying in the cement next to broken glass, car fragments, lying in their own blood for hours until someone notified the police. I wonder if their last though was me, what were their last words, what did they last see… but all I know is that my last words to them were ‘don’t get me the red mountain dew like last time’ there is not a day in my life where I could have told them how much I loved them but now there is just a big pit of regret lying inside me and the proof is in my big empty house. But maybe because of you this house… and me won’t be so lonely.” she softly grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek as if I was the one who just talked about my parents death. I’m just glad Peridot is comfortable enough to talk to me about the stuff she has bottled inside for so long.

I want to be in her skinny little arms, they make me feel protected… she makes me feel protected. Even I had started to open up to Peridot, she said I didn’t have to but I felt like I needed to unload my demons to. I told Peridot the darker moments of me and Jasper’s relationship even though every moment seem to be dark, but there was one night that I will always remember.

I open the door to my house dragging a drunk Jasper at 3 in the morning, again.
    “Baby” Jasper said very slurred, I sigh and put him on the couch with struggle.
“Yes Jasper” I sit on the edge were there was a bit of couch left.
    “I love you”
“I know baby” I kiss the top of his forehead and brush his lion’s mane away from his face.
    “Say it back” deep down I know I couldn’t, because I don’t love him I don’t even like him but my father does. Jasper stands for everything I hate and everything my father loves, I mean they both have a lot in common like enjoying seeing me suffer.
“I love you” I hold the words I hate you in my mouth like a special type of poison, I’m just waiting for the perfect moment to say exactly how I feel.
“Lapis you know what I really want”
“What”
    “You” he says biting his lip and I instantly stand up, I wasn’t ready I don’t want a special moment to be wasted on someone like him, especially when he’s drunker than a sailor.
    “Jasper I… we can’t it’s late” as I knew he would do he grunted and started scowling me.

TRIGGER WARNING: VERBAL ABUSE

“You know what Lapis you are such a fucking whore, everyone at school knows it too but the one person who you’re expected to give you’re body to, you don’t and you just a bitch about it. Don’t you understand how embarrassing it is to walk around with the school slut…”

END OF “VERBAL ABUSE TRIGGER

he kept going but his voice faded into emptiness, I let his words stick on my skin like glue as if I deserve it but maybe I did something in another life to deserve Jasper. Deep down, I felt like I deserved it… that’s why I don’t leave not because of my father or the fear of being hurt from Jasper, but maybe I am just a bad person who deserves an animal like my father and Jasper.

Me and Peridot may come from different homes and lives, Peridot in my opinion had it all two loving parents, a home, money and she lost the only important thing that can never be replaced all in 30 minutes. While I came from a broken family, a poor house, poverty and to top it off an abuse boyfriend. The only good thing in our lives is each other and nothing will ever keep us apart, our love can overcome any obstacle.

Peridot’s POV
I am sitting in front of the school board after they called me down from Biology, it’s not like I was actually doing anything just staring at Lapis’ empty seat, I miss her so much.
“Peridot” I snap back to reality (oh there goes gravity (I had to)). “We are talking about your test score, it’s the highest than anyone at this school and anyone for the past decade. What we are suggesting is that you are just wasting your time here learning about this stuff, You aren’t even on these kids level you are probably more intelligent than most of theses teachers” I was surprised, I knew I was smart but I didn’t know I was that smart, in the corner I can hear a teach scoff under her breath.
“Sorry don’t mean to be rude but what is the reason for me being here?” the man speaking before laughed, I don’t know why I didn’t say anything funny so it got me irritated but I didn’t say anything so I just bit the inside of my cheek.
    “A person straight to the point, I like you Peridot, which is why I say with great pride you will be graduating early, I’ve checked your credits and you have enough to pass with a 4.8 GPA, and give you this” he extended his arm were an envelope with a red wax seal with the letters “FT” on it. I stand up and grab the letter from the man’s hand and open it slowly.

Dear Peridot,
    We here at Future Technology are interested in offering you a full scholarship into building yourself a very bright future, we are holding an open house in two weeks please come so we may meet the future einstein.

There was more, I just didn’t feel like reading it because I’m not interested.
    “I’m sorry but I can’t… this school is on the other side of the country it’s to far away from home” and from Lapis “ I am honored but I can’t accept this, even though this is one of the best universities for building technology I can’t take it.”
    “I’m sorry to hear that Peridot, but please think it over no one here wants a bright student like you to go to waste on community college.” I look back down at the letter and back at the man.
    “I’ll keep it in mind” I turned around and walked out the door, with the heavy weight of either choosing my future and losing the love of my life or choose Lapis and miss my chance at being a brilliant engineer like my father once was.