Lapidot: I will always choose you (Human Au)

31

Peridot POV
I lost my parents at a young age, and I never thought I'd ever be happy again. I was foolish, I should have been worried about when I would feel a pain like that again. It's hard to describe the pain in her eyes, she was on the verge of tears. Her hair was a mess, as if she hadn't got out of our bed in a few days. She wore the same outfit she did yesterday, clearly she was going through something and I just made it worse.
"It's not like I'm not happy for you." She rubbed her eyes.
"I know baby, but you still have a right to be upset."
"It won't be for long."
"You won't be here for Christmas, or spring break, or even summer. An entire year is a long time, I'll be a senior for a couple of months before you get back."
"I know it's not ideal for us, but I want to do this Lapis." I regretted saying that the moment it fell from my mouth.
"What about us?" She hugged herself and looked down.
"We aren't breaking up again, if that's what you're thinking."
"Okay..."

Lapis POV
She kept talking but I stopped listening. I thought of her going to Russia, loving it so much and staying. Leaving me behind, maybe it's selfish to make her feel like crap for it. I can't help it, I need her. I need her now, it's painful just imagining her being so far. She is no longer a drive a way but a fucking plane ride. I struggle enough with her being out of state... I can't imagine her being in another country. I can't just buy a ticket whenever I want, I can't visit her like I can now. I need her... what if something happens to her and I can't just drive to her.

two days later

Lapis POV
Despite my fears I'm still here for her. Holding her hand, saying I love you in person, giving each other small short kisses for the last time. I don't know when I'll ever get to do this so I take in every small movement of hers. I try and memorize the features on her face: her acne scars have gotten worse, her teeth are no longer pearly white but tinted yellow, her short nails have grown and been painted black, and her long hair has been shaved to her skull. She wasn't wearing her glasses, she wore contacts. She's changed, I wonder how much she'll change while she's gone. Will she be the same? Will I be the same? When she gets back would we just pick up where we left off? I can't think about that, instead I think about how perfectly our fingers fit together. How we fit together.

Peridot POV
Dr.Harper kept explaining what's going to happen when we get to Russia, but I was more focused on Lapis. I'll miss her, and she knows it. We are both scared, how will this change us? It's just a year though, but I also know a person can change in a moment. How much damage can a year do?
"I love you" she whimpers in my ear and squeezed my hand.
"I love you too" I kissed her cheek for the hundredth time. Hopefully she'll never forget the feeling of my lips against her smooth skin. I'll miss her, and this is painful. The sounds of Dr.Harper, the loud speaker. And the mindless chatter disappeared... it's just me and Lapis holding each other's hands, her head on my shoulder, as we whisper sweet nothings. For a moment like this to last forever seems impossible, but right now it's possible. I take in what smells like a new perfume, it's more fruity than her normal island shore smell. I'll miss these little things with her, and I'm replacing it for test tubes and experiences. Maybe I'll finally get my name out in the science world.

Lapis POV
I honestly want to think of everything else, but all I think about is her. How I'm going to miss her, even more than I already do. I tilt my head up to get a better look at her.
"What?" She asks.
"You're beautiful." She lightly blushed which made her even more beautiful. I don't want to do this, I want to run away. I know this would only make things harder, it makes me fall for her more. Could I actually handle being in her house alone? I know she will be busy making weird tech stuff, but my mind can't help but wonder what will happen outside the lab. Who will she meet? How long till she breaks things off for someone else? These dark intrusive thoughts make me want to cry, but I can't. Not in front of her, I need to be strong for her no matter how much it hurts me. That's what being a good girlfriend means, right? To allow someone else to mean more to you than yourself, because the only thing that matters except her.
"We will call each other everyday." She says with such a hopeful sparkle in her emerald green eyes. I force myself to look away, every look, smile, sigh, word that comes from her will make this goodbye impossible.
"Our time zones will be different."
"Then we will text everyday, we will make this work Lappy." She squeezes my hand for reassurance, but all it does is widen the feeling in my stomach.
"I'm sure we will." She needs to hear that, it makes it easier for her.

Peridot POV
I close my eyes trying to freeze time, trying to enjoy this moment as much as I can. I do hope she knows this is just as painful for me as it is her, but I can't give this up.
"FLIGHT 401 WILL BE LEAVING IN 5 MINUTES" the loud speaker said, cutting through the sounds of mindless chatter, but all I heard was Lapis' whimper. There was nothing I could do but sigh and give her hand a small squeeze. Dr.Harper stood up with their luggage in hand, I knew it was time for me to do the same but it was so hard. When I finally found the strength to stand up and begin to follow Dr.Harper, Lapis followed right next to me. It was like I had her on a leash, it didn't feel right. I don't want to break up with her, I can't go through that again. I can't handle that. Flashbacks of me and Lapis' break up floods my mind, and I cannot let that happen again. This has to be different, I have to be stronger. And the moment I get back I'm going to actually start a life with her, I am going to marry this woman.

Lapis POV
I don't know why I'm crying now, maybe because it finally feels real. She's leaving me even more, I want to believe we can both be strong and we can survive a year. Maybe. I wanted this to be a bad dream, but as I cry onto her shoulder I know this is real. Our arms wrapped around each other tightly, while we cry. Peridot gently pulls away and then roughly kisses my lips, I savor the taste, hopefully I can remember it in a month.
"It's time to go." Dr.Harper said with a cold expression on their face.
"I'll miss you." She said sadly.
"I'll miss you too." I press my forehead against hers and kiss her one last time. She pulls away from my embrace and begins to board the plane, she looks back one final time to mouth 'I love you' and I mouth it back. Goodbye Peridot.

Peridot POV
Goodbye Lapis.

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A/N:
Wow okay that lowkey made me emotional, they are leaving each... again! But don't worry these two always find away to get back to each other. 

Anyway for the people who follow me or actually read these (which isn't a lot), will know I'm working on a new story. I have the first chapter up and ready to be published, I can't wait for you guys to read it.

See you next time 💙💚💙💚💙💚