Rejects | | a.u

2.7

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN 

January 3rd, 2015

90 days before

  January has always been a happy month. It’s always been calm and peaceful. Maybe it’s the way the snow hits the ground in a blanket that you sometimes wish you could just lay in forever.  Maybe it’s the fact that when you hold the snow long enough in your palm it turns your fingers numb and melts in your hand. 

  Maybe I just want to feel numb.

  I roll over on my side to face Luke. His long arm is lazily wrapped across my waist. He snores lightly, sighing every once in a while. I watch him as he sleeps. He looks content as hell and I as much as I love lying in snow, I would be perfectly fine with laying here forever and sinking into the blankets and just sleeping forever. 

 I’ve been fortunate enough to wake up on Christmas morning and spend New Year’s Eve with him by my side. 

  I woke up on December 25th to someone singing Christmas carols in my ear and kisses along my shoulder.  I shoved him off me and ran out into the living room to find Janet sitting in her rocking chair holding a cup of coffee. She explained Cassie and Ashton were on their way as soon as Asami dragged Michael through the door. All at 8:30am. 

 Luke told me that morning that it took him 20 minutes to convince Janet to let us sleep in the same bed because there was no way in hell he would be able to manage sleeping with me laying on top of him while he was supposed to be helping Janet drag out presents like he promised. 

  I’ve never felt so happy about a couple of hours in so long. It just all felt right and perfect and nothing needed to be changed.

  Luke surprised me a necklace with our initials carved into the back. To say I loved it would have been an understatement. It hasn’t left my neck since. Asami and Michael ended up buying each other hair dye or something like a gag gift because they both came to the conclusion they’re shit at buying presents.

  On New Year’s Eve he kissed me like he was taking his last breath. He wanted to make it count.

  I wished for him forever at midnight. It’s cliché I know, but it’s all I really want.

  All I want is his chapped lips against my chapped lips. And I want nothing more than for the cracks on our lips to line up as perfectly as they always have. And our chapped lips will move together in time to his favorite song. It’s almost as if the harsh winter hit both of our lips just so they could touch, I don’t know why my chapped lips crave to be so badly by his. But when I look at how the state of our lips match up the only thing I can think about is how nice it would be for them to meet forever. 

I cannot even begin to think about or explain how happy I am for Luke to be home. I know he’s safe and I know he’s alive. I know he’s laughing and breathing and being as stubborn as always. It’s just calming. 

  I turn awkwardly on my side to feel around on the nightstand for my phone. I check the time then gently set it back down. 

  Somehow I’m always awake around two in the morning just letting my thoughts take over my tired mind as they have a chance to be thought. 

  One thought that crosses my mind every so often is rehab. Carter Cross Rehabilitation Center is the place that helped me more than anything but fucked me up so bad. Ever since I stepped foot outside of that complex, the soles of my beat up black converse hitting the ground with freedom for the first time I haven’t been the same. 

  I used to be a careless wreck. I was self destructing myself every breath I took beforehand. Sitting in a pile of cigarette butts, broken alcohol bottles and crushed pill caps at fifteen years old was the downfall of hell. Hell almost seemed like heaven compared to where my mindset was. 

  But here I am laying in a warm bed with sheets covering my legs and a sleeping boy beside me with a niece or nephew on the way. I’m graduating high school in a couple of months and everything is just finally falling together. 

  Even though we still take everything for granted it feels like the world is slowly starting to figure everything out. Sooner or later my happiness will be broken but I am sure as hell not taking it for granted. 

  The light from the street light reflects off the window, bringing just enough light in for me to see the shadows of Luke’s face. I smile as I gently and subconsciously trace the area around his lips with my index finger.

  He stirs in his sleep a little bit, lazily wrapping his arm tighter around my waist pulling me into him. 

  It sounds selfish but I want to be the only one laying beside Luke at 3am when the whole world is asleep. I move my arm out from under me, causing Luke’s eyes to open a little. 

  “Beth?” he asks his voice husky. 

  “Right here.” I whisper back. He yawns and pulls me closer into his chest if that’s even possible. There’s zero to none space between us. 

  “Why are you awake?”

  “Couldn’t sleep.” 

  “Why not?”

  “My brain won’t stop thinking.”

  “Well, I’m here to protect you from the bad thoughts. Just try to go back to sleep.” He kisses my forehead causing my heart to do summersaults. 

  I can hear his breathing along with the soft beats of his heart. We stare at each other with drowsy, tired eyes. He smiles a small smile. 

  At 3am people suddenly know who they are and try to hide. At 3am I know I am and will forever be in love with Luke. At 3am I know Luke loves me more than the world as I do him. At 3am I know I’m safe wrapped in his embrace and nothing will hurt me. At 3am I know I’m okay. 

  At 3am, I know all I want is to look into his eyes and make sure they’re never filled with tears. 

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literally the shortest chapter I have ever written but this is more of a filler. there aren't many chapters of this less omg everything's going to skip by 10 days now just a warning so people dont get confused :-) 

xxx

gillian