(𝙘𝙞𝙚𝙡 𝙥𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙝𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧)

XXXIII. DROWNED IN THOUGHTS

water, that was all he could see, feel, hear and taste.

it was now practically his own world.

his vision was being blocked by water, his lungs were being invaded by water, his ears were being permeated by water, his mouth was being filled by water. overall, his senses were saturated and it made him suffocate. words flowed through his head, eventually dancing inside his brain. distant voices of deceased people plagued in his mind as he struggled to float upwards but it was no avail. he saw faint colors, consciously by the shade of the dead individuals he knew. there was his parents, madam red, and the people from the circus who died. they all shared a somber expression, mainly directing at him. he was back in his own cage, and the setting drastically changes where the cult began. familiar strangers in butterfly masks surround him and the natural feeling of dread coiled back in his stomach. their glowing, cloudy eyes peered at him, almost in a hauntingly way. the rancid stench of blood loitered in the air and it itched his nose, causing the new bile to rise up in his throat.

he saw himself, on a long stone table, that used to be clean, now soiled with unknown red substances. his body was lifeless, same as his eyes that rolled back inside his head. ciel's rough hand made its way to his leaking mouth, preventing the putrid vomit to spew out of his lips. suddenly, crimson vital fluids sprayed out of the body's stomach, making him unload the puke while the contents spilled on the musty tiled ground. the people shrouded in cloaks started to cackle at him, taunting, and mocking him. their laughs reverberated his imagination. he wrapped his nimble fingers on the grime-stained bars, gripping on them for his dear life. the pupils of his cerulean hues shook in an inhuman pace as he continued to watch the gore sight before him. he could not take his eyes off of it, for he was paralyzed. sadistic and barbaric grins crawled over the strangers' faces as they spectated his poor image being corrupted by trauma.

ultimately, he began to move his body. then chants waltzed in his head and predominantly coming out of his trembling lips, ❝kill, kill, kill, kill— ❞ his breathing turned shallow, making his chest feel heavy by some sort of supernatural pressure. he pulled his unruly locks out of his skull as he stumbled forward, ❝kill them all! ❞ screamed him, his voice creating some rawness in his esophagus he was certain it would bleed. in emergence, the deceased people in his life started to appear as well as his own identical image.

❝ did you want me to forgive you? ❞ his mirrored-self asked, still covered in splatter in his nightgown. the once bright blue eyes were ombré, almost dull and emotionless.

❝ no... ❞ he whispered, the tone of his voice faltering.

then there came madame red, his beloved red-haired aunt, ❝ did you want to leave your weak self behind? ❞ her posture was in superior, making him intimidated but that didn't stop him.

❝ no! ❞ his voice gradually became stronger, staring at the floor and recapping his thoughts.

the being of joker from the circus appeared, his head tilting to the side, ❝ did you want everything to be yours? ❞

❝ NO!! ❞ he yelled, louder this time.

❝ then tell me, ❞ a figure of [your name] walked towards him in an orderly fashion. she kneeled down to his sitting level, ❝ who are you? ❞ her eyes shaped into slits, narrowing at him.

❝ i am ciel phantomhive, ❞ he states in an assured and bold tone while he gripped on the bars of the cage, ❝ and i am a selfish and self-righteous human being! ❞ he yelled in a powerful voice, causing the epitome of his mind to crumble.