*3:23 pm
he broke up with me over a month ago, july 24th. i don't want him anymore. i do, however, want my happiness back. i want my smiles and my friends and my motivation and my love for life back. i've relapsed twice already, not too deep, just enough to bleed, just enough to feel. two years of sobriety from this addiction turned to wasted time. my fear of death fades along with my motivation, soon i will be transparent and have nothing holding me back from giving in to all my impulses. i finally want to let go, i don't care enough to hide it or fight it, i don't care about anything but the people i love. they keep me sane, they keep me alive. i'm free from the chains of my relationship and the abuse is no longer clouding my thoughts, but i have never felt lonlier. i want to experience happiness without feeling guilty for it, i want to stop putting others first and take care of myself for once. i want to feel like i matter
YOU ARE READING
tears turned to ink
Poesíapieces of my thoughts and heart sewn together and melted down for me to write about trigger warning: everything
