Best Part

PART 21

HER POV (PLAY SUPERMARKET FLOWERS BY ED SHEERAN FOR FEELS)

I woke up because of Mama's sobs.

My brow furrowed when I saw that I was in the hospital. No. This can't be happening. I was about to remove all the things connected to me when Mama stopped me.

"Emily... baby, sshh... don't remove it... listen to Mama... please..." She stopped me by hugging me tightly. I started crying too, the moment I realized everything was repeating again.

"Ma, can we go home, please?" I begged. I don't want to stay here for too long. It's more expenses, and besides, I haven't seen Travis in a while.

"Ma, can we go home?"

"Sweetheart, you need to get better first... get better before we go home, okay?" She kissed my forehead.

I don't want to be in the hospital. I don't want to stay here. I feel like I'm suffocating when I stay in places like this.

I want to go home.

I want to rest in my room.

"Ma, I can rest at home, Ma... I don't want to stay here! Ma... please, let's go home... please, Ma. I don't want to be here... I don't! Ma, listen to me... I'm getting worse here! I feel suffocated! I feel like I'm dying here in the hospital!"

"EMILY, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE!"

"MA! I KNOW MY LIMITS! I'M GOING TO DIE, MA... IT'S COMING SOON! I WANT TO BE AT HOME, NOT HERE... NOT HERE!"

Seeing my mom cry in front of me makes me feel weak.

This is the kind of scene I don't like seeing.

"EMILY, YOU'LL LIVE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? YOU'LL LIVE... YOU'LL SURVIVE THIS. YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE, YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN, DO YOU HEAR ME, EMILY?"

Mama's voice echoed throughout the room, her tears falling non-stop.

"Please, baby... survive this for... for Mama... for me, for Papa... please don't give up, sweetheart... please don't." I closed my eyes, unable to speak.

This is the time I thought would never come. Why does it feel like it's happening too soon? Right when I'm about to graduate, I'm going through this? Why me? Why not someone else?

I've been a good daughter. A good friend. Why do I have to carry such a heavy burden? Why me? All I want is to live a long and happy life. Even if it's just living, but not happy.

"Ma, I'm sorry... this is all I am... sorry that this is the situation, with me having cancer... I've been a burden to you and Papa... I've barely been able to give back. I'm sorry, Ma... sorry that this is all I am... I'm just Emily. Just Emily." I was trapped in Mama's embrace. A hug that I would never refuse.

"Emily, you're not... you're not just Emily... you always make me proud, baby... because you grew up being a good person." I cried in Mama's arms. I just wanted to give in to her comfort.

I'm tired of fighting. I want to rest.

"Ma, I'm a useless daughter... I know that... I've never been able to give you or Papa anything good... I couldn't give back what you've given me... I'm sorry, Ma... I'm sorry... I'm just Emily... just Emily." I continued crying in Mama's arms.

They don't deserve a daughter like me. My parents don't deserve this life. They deserve more than this. Not just me. Not just Emily. It shouldn't be like this.

All my life, they've provided for me, but I haven't been able to return anything. I'm sorry that I'm alive. That I'm the one who survived, while my siblings died.