In The Name of Love (COMPLETED)

Chapter 55

#ITNOLHowWillItEnd

A/N:  Back to Regine's point of view ulit tayo mga baaaaks! Last chapter rolling over, woot woot! Andddd, happy 4k reads In The Name Of Love! Gandang gift po talagaaa huhu ily all xo muuuch! Sorry for the grammatical errors and misspelled words. Thank you, enjoy reading!

-

"All along...alam mo?" 

I asked him as soon as we got into the hotel. Nasa veranda kami ngayon at nag-uusap dalawa. I am definitely shocked to know that Sarah's real father isn't that jerk but instead, my ex-husband. I cannot believe this. These are just so mindblowing. Hindi ko ma-absorb ng isang tinginan at rinigan lang. Nakakalito, sobrang gulo. 

"Sa maniwala ka at sa hindi, I never really knew." he vented out. Siguro oras na rin na marinig ko ang side niya at hindi magpadalos dalos sa sasabihin. "I...or rather, we, were drunk that night. I can't recall anything even vivid imagery of what really happened and had no time to verify who that person was. By intoxication also I wasn't able to see that face."

"So kung ibang babae yun, wala ka talagang alam?" I retorted.

"Imposibleng ibang babae yun dahil nakareserve ang buong hotel sa'tin." mariin nitong sabi. "And trust me, I really really scanned all of my four women friends that time...buntis rin naman si Michelle kaya hindi na ako nagdalawang isip pa na sa'kin talaga ang batang yun. And as for you...Piolo claiming that it was really his, so I didn't meddle with your relationship anymore. Wala na naman akong dapat guluhin, alam ko namang kayo naman talaga dapat hanggang sa huli."

He started opening up himself on me. With the soft waves of wind swaying upon us, he's explaning his side that I never heard before. Siguro mas maganda na ang ganito para naman maliwanagan kaming dalawa sa nararamdaman namin. I think we lack this kind of characteristic between the two of us...at dun rin ako nagkulang, komunikasyon.

"Ang dami dami kong kasalanan sa'yo." panimula nito. "Sorry if I forced you to be mine. Nadala lang talaga ako ng galit nun at sobrang nasaktan ako sa pagkamatay ng fiance ko. It was a painful death for me, at mas lalo akong nagalit dahil alam kong gusto mo ako kahit alam mong parehas na tayong may kasintahan...basta hindi ko talaga ma-explain ang nararamdaman ko that time, turns out nabunton ko sayo lahat ng sama ng loob. Not just once but throughout the years. I'm sorry for the pain, the grief, the hurt, the sorrow, for all the crying you did, for all the tears fell from your eyes, for the screams and shouts at me while you're mad, for the wasted efforts that I didn't much appreciate into, for the silence I made whenever I'm with you that makes you feel unimportant⁠—I deeply regret those things and God knows how sorry I am."

The tears started to fall out from my eyes.

Kaya siguro ayoko siyang mag-sorry nalang lagis sa'kin kasi nasasaktan ako kapag naririnig ko siyang nagbibigay ng paumanhin sa lahat ng mga nagawa niya. I feel like...he doesn't owe an apology to anyone. I first committed to this marriage, and it is also my responsibility na pangalagaan ang relasyong iyon. Nang dahil rin sa'kin, kaya kami naikasal. He was just being fair, I guess. I don't know. 

I sniffed and sobbed. "M-may sasabihin pala ako sa'yo na hindi k-ko nasabi nung nakita ko kayo ni Zsazsa..." I trailed off. Kailangan niya na rin sigurong malaman to, hindi para sa'ming dalawa kundi para sa indibidwal na kalayaan naming dalawa. "M-michelle...she was born to die. May stage 3 cancer siya nang naging kayo at mas lumala pa ito nang naging fiance mo siya." 

"Grabe, ang tanga tanga ko naman para hindi malaman ang ganung bagay. Sobrang nabulag ako sa pride ko at sa lahat ng meron ako." his tears are slowly falling one by one. "Alam mo kung anong parte ang masakit nang mawala si Mich sa'kin? Yung hindi ko siya nabigyan ng sapat na pagmamahal para dalhin niya sa langit. I didn't loved and cared for her the same as much as she does. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil hindi ko siya nabigyan ng sapat na atensyon. If it really is true na may sakit siya, then I should've cherished her even more. Sana minahal ko siya ng sobra-sobra. Wala namang magandang maidudulot ang pagtatanong kung bakit hindi siya nagpagamot dahil tapos na at hindi na siya babalik sa'tin. I was busy loving someone else..."