nineteen

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"Scalpel,"

"Backhaus clip,"

"Second Backhaus clip"

I just began surgery and my neck was already paining. It probably wasn't going to help that my neck would be faced down for the next few hours.

"Veress needle," I said as the scrub nurse handed the needle to me. The surgery lasted three hours and 23 minutes, I was done and as I finished stitching the incision I handed the equipment in my hand to the metal tray the nurse held.

"Vitals and BP?" I asked the anesthesiologist.

"Stable." He stated.

"Great," I smiled under my mask, left the surgical ward to discard my gloves and gown, and washed my hands. I stretched my neck, putting my hand under my hijab trying to massage it. I was fatigued, this was my 5th surgery of the day and thankfully the last. I walked out of the theatre still pressing my neck.

I walked to the reception to pick up some paperwork, and I saw Dr. Khan leaning against the reception desk reading his clipboard.

I looked at him in his black dress shirt and grey tie as he focused on what he was reading. He looked flawless- from head to toe. While I looked at him I realized my neck wasn't so bad after all, and I could stay awake for a couple more hours if I got to spend it looking at him.

I was crazy. I knew, but I liked this crazy.

Swiftly his eyes met with mine, but I didn't move mine away. I was busy- thinking of how charming his stubble was, how fluffy his black hair looked, and how attractive his hands wer-

"Dr. Siddiqui?" I heard as a hand waved in front of me.

I looked at the figure in front of me- which was him. He looked at me surely trying to hide a chuckle.

CRAP!

I was staring. Oh my god, I was full-on gawking at him and he noticed.

I pursed my lips and looked at where he was standing before. To see an abstract painting down the hallway. 

"I was just looking at how elegant, that painting is," I said putting my four fingers on my lips pretending to analyze the painting.

"Oh really, It's wonderful isn't it." He said following my gaze.

He turned towards me looking down and grinning. He looked back up and looked right at me, and at that moment I felt like I was melting, as I looked back at him.

"You look exhausted, are you okay?" He said.

"Oh no," I said as I tried to look down, hiding my unpretty appearance from his view.

"It's okay, you look fine." He said lowly.

I felt myself blushing, as blood rushed to my face.

"35 minutes left of our shift. Try to pull through okay?" He said

I nodded at him.

"I'm going to go," he said.

No, don't.

"Okay,"

He walked past me, his refreshing cologne hitting my nose and making me smile.

- - -

I came home and crashed on the couch my legs feeling numb, and my eyes feeling droopy.

Everyone was asleep, though I was beat, I couldn't stop thinking of him.

How he was so perfect, I couldn't believe that I would marry him.

Ever since the finalization of the marriage- I've been thinking so much about him. About how I wanted to get to know him and Haniah.

I hadn't thought much about my love life before I started liking Dr. Khan. I knew our life wouldn't be an ideal love story, because I'm not Haniah's biological mother, but now that I'm in love with him. I wouldn't prefer it any other way.

Love?, Yes love. I was in love with Dr. Khan, and I wanted to spend my life with him. I know love is a huge thing, but it was inevitable. After knowing I would marry him, I wanted nothing more.

I didn't love Haniah yet, I liked her a lot, and I knew that I had to love her as much as I would love Dr. Khan.

I'm a pediatrician, I chose my career because my love for children was so immense. I wanted to spend more time with Haniah, I was planning to ask Dr. Khan if I could.

Eventually, my own thoughts drove me into a deep slumber. I fell asleep, in my scrubs and socks.


short chapter.
I will update with a longer chapter soon.
Thank you! <3

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