The Falling virgin

t h i r t y f i v e: shoot your shot

Connor Hamilton

A week later

I had to tell her and I had to explain what I'm feeling.

I walked downstairs, looking for my mum. "Mum!" I shouted and I heard her shout back from out of dad's office. I slowly opened the door. "What are you doing?" I asked, looking at her as she opened drawers. "Looking for important papers to seal a deal with a company that wants to work with us. I just don't know where your dad placed them, it's a mess in here."

"I'll help you." I said and she looked up at me. "Honey, it's okay."

"No, what company is it?" I asked and she gave me a small smile. "Con, it's okay. I'm just going to call your dad to ask. You're not telling me you were calling me just to help search for papers, what's up?" She asked and I licked my lips.

"Can I ask you something about you and dad?" I asked and she nodded. "When did you know you were in love?"

She pursed her lips. "I certainly didn't think you'd ask that. But two months after I first saw him, why? Are you in love?"

"I don't know, I think so." I said and she gave me confused look. "Can't be Jane, it's Allison Daniels."

"How do you know?"

"Mums notice things like that. Remember the dinner you made for us with her?" I nodded. "Well, the way you touched her waist as we walked in and how you looked at her as she talked to your dad, the way you got jealous when she talked about Lucas." She stopped at that part and I scoffed. "You see? Connor, I can totally tell you really like her, she's the only thing you've been talking about this past five months. Ben talked to me about this, he asked if I noticed something odd about you. I said that it wasn't odd, you jut were behaving a different way." She said and I cocked an eyebrow. "How was I acting different?"

"I didn't see any girl come around in the past month, not since you broke up with Jane. Oh, how I hate that girl." She muttered the last part just loud enough for me to hear. "You don't like her?"

"Con, she was using you, just like all the other girls you ever brought home. You're a good looking guy, reminds me if your dad when he was younger, all the girls that pass you start drooling. Jane radiated jealousy and that's the only thing I understood." She said, a little laugh escaping her lips. "So, do you like Alli?"

"Like? I love her, she's one of the most genuine girls you'll ever meet. She has that from her dad, she reminds me of him." She said and I frowned. "You knew Peter?"

"Everyone did." She said, a sad expression crossing her face. "Shoot your shot with her. Even dad likes her, you know how he is with the girls you bring home."

"Thanks mum, I love you." I said and pulled her into a hug. "You better tell Alli that." She grinned and I rolled my eyes. "I better get going."

I walked out of the office and jogged upstairs. I knocked on my sister's door. "Come in." She said and I opened the door, seeing her and Ricardo sitting on her bed. "Oh, sorry to interrupt, but do you know if Alli was doing anything today?" I asked and she shrugged. "I think she was hanging out with Ethan." She said and gave me a suspicious look. "Why?" She asked.

I met Santos' eyes and he just grinned. "I think I know why." He said and looked at Hayden. "He may have-"

"Shut up." I said to him and turned to my sister. "I- Just, I have to see her to tell her something now that I still can."

"Connor, what do you mean?"

"I'm leaving for college next year, so that's what I mean."

"Dude, Christmas is only coming in a few weeks and you're talking about leaving. Calm your dick." She said and I frowned. "You're right, just tell me where she is." I said, getting nervous. "Check at Ethan's place."

I nodded and hurried into my room to change into something else. I ran downstairs, skipping the last steps by jumping down. I almost slipped, but managed to stay steady. I quickly slipped on my Vans, grabbed my jacket and car keys. "Mum, I'm heading out!"

"Good luck!" I heard her shout back, I started my car and headed to Ethan's house. I nervously tapped my fingers against the steering wheel. I bit my lip as I waited for the light to turn green. "For fuck's sake." I muttered.

It finally turned green and I hit the pedal, getting my car to move again. I parked my car and got out. I rang the bell and waited a few seconds. I got impatient and hit the bell again.

There was shuffling behind the door, someone talking, too. The door opened and revealed Ethan on the phone. "Hang on, Alli, there is someone really impatient at the- Hamilton?" Ethan screeched as he saw me. I looked at him, lowering my head. "I'll call you back." He said and ended the call. "What are you doing here?" He asked and I licked my lips.

"My sister said Alli was here, but she isn't apparently. Sorry for bothering." I said, turning around, but he grabbed my arm. "Can I tell you something about Alli's dad?" He asked and I let out a shivery sigh. "If it'll help me, yes please."

"Come in." He said and I put my hands in my pockets. "Sure."

I followed him into his house and we sat down in his living room. I looked around and spotted a picture of Peter, holding Ben and Allison in his arms. I looked at Ethan. "What's the story?"

"Calm there boy, this is pretty emotional, so don't get too hyped." Ethan said and I leaned back on the couch. "It was six years ago, exactly a year before Peter died. Her mom and her dad got into this really big fight about moving away to Chicago, her mom got promoted." He said and I frowned. "What this have to do with Allison?"

"Hey, let me tell the story." He said and I put my hands up in defence. "So, her mom really wanted to leave, it was a perfect opportunity. But what Peter hadn't told Alice is that he had just been diagnosed with cancer, so he couldn't just continue his treatment in Chicago. I see you thinking, Why not?, well, because he was gonna die anyway, there was no hope for him."

I rolled my lips inside my mouth and looked at the ground. "Did Alli know this?"

Ethan slowly nodded. "This may seem weird to you, but Allison was the first person Peter told about his cancer. She was only nine years old, she didn't know what that would mean. She always has had this bond with her dad, they told each other everything." He said and I looked at him. "Why would he tell a little child this?"

"Alice only found out that Alli knew after he died. Allison promised not to tell anyone, but she told me. I also didn't really know what to make out of it. Only when he shaved off his hair he told more people about it. Even Alice, he couldn't bare the feeling of hurting her. Not even when it wasn't his fault."

"So, he kept it a secret for months and Alli knew, but his wife didn't?" I asked and Ethan nodded. "Yeah, it might sound crazy, but the man had a good heart, so does Alli. That's why his death as even harder to process for her. She held on to the secret hoping it would all be okay cause that's what he told her. He knew he was dying, but that's something he left out by everyone." He said and I furrowed my eyebrows. "I still don't get your point."

"Peter and Alli are the same, they leave things out." He said and I looked at him. "What is she not telling me?"

"What you are about to tell her."