Come Back Home

Dara

The doctor walked in with his clipboard, "Now that it has spread to my nervous system, what should I be expecting?" I asked immediately.

"You could have memory loss, possible seizures, pain, headaches, blurred or double vision, and difficulty with movements," he said taking a seat.

"Dara I am aware of how shocking this all is to you and that doesn't make what I'm about to ask you any easier," he set his clipboard down.

"I think it would be best if you stay here so we can monitor you," he took my hand into his.

I couldn't look up at him, the feeling of this cancer taking over my life. "Will I be able to be taken out at all?" I managed to ask.

He gave a quick sigh "that will depend on the condition you are in at the time."

I nodded my head "I understand," I said with a bit of a whimper in my voice.

After signing the forms for my stay, I went home to deliver the news to Chi-Won.

"Stay at the hospital?" He repeated after me.

I sat there hugging myself as he paced the floor. "Chi-Won, it's not up for discussion, I would feel comfortable if I stayed."

He looked at me with teary eyes, "I do too, it's just," he paused.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I don't want to sound pitiful for you are going through so much than I, but the kids," he trailed off.

I cleared my throat "you are not being selfish, you are being a concerned parent as am I, we are a team and we have handled the kids together."

He took a seat next to me taking my hands into his as I continued "this is hard for the both of us, but you can do it Chi-Won I know you can, you are a great father."

"It's new for everyone, but your health comes first," he pulled me into his warm embrace.

"The main thing I'm concerned about is finding a way to tell the kids," he mentioned.

I was about to give him assurance when my phone went off, I look down to see Minzy calling , "Hello," I answered.

"Hey, how are you holding up?" She asked.

I bit my lip due to my nerves "Minzy, is there a way you can tell the girls to meet me at the diner tonight?"

"Yeah, what's going on?"

"I have some news and I would like to tell you all myself," I hummed "if that's ok with you girls."

"Ok Dara, we will meet you tonight," she said before we hung up.

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I sat there waiting for the girls to arrive, as I was sitting there a waitress who looked as if she was in her 50's came up to me.

"Would you like to order something?" She asked kindly.

I shook my head "no thank you," I give her a head nod.

But she didn't seem to accept my answer very well, "you should eat something doll, you are looking fairly thin."

I wrapped my cardigan around my body taking a uncomfortable gulp. "I am ok, thank you," I managed to say with my eyes casted down at the table.

She clicked her tongue as she walked away, I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down.

Finally the girls walked in, "are you cold?" Chaerin asked as she sat across from me.

I looked down and realized I was still holding my cardigan closed. I released it from my body and tucked my hair in behind my ears.

Clearing my throat nervously, "no, this waitress was making me uncomfortable, that's all."

"How was she making you uncomfortable?" Chaerin asks.

I waved my hand "no matter, thank you girls for coming."

Minzy reached for my hands "of course Dara."

I give a slight grin "well, as you girls know my cancer has spread to my central nervous system, today the doctor told me the symptoms and would feel comfortable if I would stay there under their care."

Their jaws dropped as if I said something horrifying. "What about Chi-Won and the kids?" Bom asked.

"He is a great father. I know he will do well without me, the kids, well I'm sure they will take it pretty rough," I said lowering my head.

I gave shrug "girls let's face it, I am going downhill rather quickly, I think this would be the best."

"Don't talk like that," Chaerin kind of snapped.

I furrowed my brows "Why?" I asked sarcastically before saying "it's the truth."

We sat there for a good moment in silence before Bom spoke up, "if you feel this is the right decision for your health, we are right behind you."

I laid my head on her shoulder "thank you Bommie."

Today felt as if the cancer has taken its hands and wrapped itself around me. Trying to suffocate me, taking my life into it's hands and sadly I felt as if it has won.