Assurgent Construction

Home is with You

Next to me you lay sound asleep, I can hear your breathing and feel the warmth of your skin.

Supposedly there is 'my side' of the bed and 'your side' but right now there's not distinguishing whose side is whose since you're laying diagonally.

At this point, I adjust myself to you. It's adorable because when I try to get up you pull me down as if to say that I can't leave.

It's also inconvenient when I need relieve myself but I wait until you turn back over so I don't accidentally wake you up.

One full year, that's how long I was away from you and now that we're physically together again I can't help but feel sound.

We've joked around and picked on each other, despite the annoyance, it is out of love and admiration.

Each day is a new day and they're filled with surprises as well as intriguing facts. They remind me of the many reasons why I love you.

To think, I would go through all this frustration once I returned to this broken family of mine, I was almost blinded by their toxic ways.

Had it not been for you, I wouldn't have a place to stay. I wouldn't be able to stabilize my anxiety. Without you, I can't imagine what my life would be like.

Being with you can be intoxicating, time seems to fly and I don't know how I ended up in the next day.

Before I left, you depended on me heavily and now you're waiting for me to get back in that schedule for but for now...

Reasons that I love you are endless but this is one of many, the fact that you're patient with me, the fact that right now, you're willing to take the wheel and help me get back on my feet says more than other people.

As for my parents, I'm trying to get away from their grip. I know that my mother will be asking for me to pay her back in some form or fashion.

My father will never ask anything of me. He's never been that type. As for my aunt, well, she's all gun a blazing.

This family wants to pretend like everything is fine and perfect but I know better than to fall for their lies.

Without me by your side, sobriety was hard for you and I'm sorry that I wasn't physically there.

What matters is that I'm here now. I'm happy to be here and I can't wait to see what's in store for us.

Moreover, I can't wait to spend this next year with you and without the walls that I put up in order to survive in another country.

I can be myself which isn't something I've fully been able to do until I came home, to you.

-

June 4, 2019

To My Sun