Assurgent Construction

Confidence

'One Moment Hesitation' –Ajay

The reason why I separated this poem from the other ones I'm writing is because those are about general remarks as well as a personal remark to Ajay but this was a personal thought over the content that he's written.

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Now that I think about it, I haven't hesitated in a while. Why is that?

When I was overseas I hesitated because I was unsure of myself and the languages that I was speaking but before that... I suppose the last I hesitated was before I got together with My Sun.

The more time I spend with her, the more I see the little moments that keep up together.

Not hesitating is one of them because she has helped me with my confidence.

Amusing as it is, she has given me strength that I haven't felt since the beginning.

These moments I spend laughing with her only prove how at ease I am.

We came together at a time of calamity in each other's lives and became the solution.

And for a while, I was confident, until I left her side.

It didn't occur to me how she effected my life. Normally, I don't reassess the details in our relationship because it works.

For her, that's enough. She's happy and she doesn't question it.

Usually, I sketch the details to each of my relationships.

With her, all I've been doing is enjoying without question and I'm glad that I haven't thought twice about.

This is why I wonder what exactly is hesitation?

Is it an internal uncontrollable reaction?

What science has been written out to explain this reaction?

Is it a reaction or a willingly action?

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7.6.19

Ajay,

I've noticed that when it comes to being inspired by poetry that sometimes what I end up writing about may or may not be about the subject at all. Or it is influenced by a thought that may be off course of what the actual subject is. No matter how many times I read your poems I always see a different perspective in them and I really enjoy that about your poetry!