This is Part I of III. These will be written in more of as poetic narrative.
What would she think if you stopped breathing? – The Self
She wouldn't be okay with it. – My Thoughts.
"You have this way of lightening up the atmosphere,
I miss your hugs, really." She says, not wanting to think about it but knowing that you need the validation. – Her
"I hope that if you ever do feel that way you at least think of me and think that I wouldn't want to stop seeing you.
Our paths aren't in sync but maybe one day they might be and because of that, I wouldn't want your path to go dark." She says and adjust in her seat, uncomfortably.
"What would you think if I stopped breathing?" I ask.
"I wouldn't believe it. Someone who would do anything to make me smile, he gave up so easily? He thought that it was easier to quit than to keep his head up?
The question that would irk me the most?
Why didn't he come to me? Why didn't he reach out?" – Her
Dude, I wouldn't want you to think that you're not worth living for. You're worth something to me, even if I don't fully understand it. But do I have to fully understand it to prove to you that you should live?" She says, now tears in her eyes.
"Would you really think that I'd be okay with any of this? I'd have to live knowing that we were never meant to be. That we was only a fantasy. That we that... there is not us." She bites her lip and she lets her tears fall freely.
"How can you be so talented and think that you aren't enough? Do you not see the influence around you? The effect on the atmosphere you have? Do you not hear the artistic ring?" She begins to feel weak.
"So what would I think? I'd think too much! I'd think, was there anything that I could have done to save you?" She curses.
"It's not my job to fix you but I'd want you to know that I, at least, care. How I feel about you is still up in the air but when you showed me your cuts the first time???" She begins to shake.
"I couldn't stand knowing that you would rather hurt yourself than get help. I wondered, what made him think that hurting himself was okay?" She inhales.
"I care about you and I wouldn't want anything to happen to you. Even if we're not meant to be. Even if we're only supposed to be friends."
"No. You know what, think about it this way...
What if it was me?" She ask, and her eyes meet his and he smirks. She doesn't look away and he knows that she is expecting an answer.
-
4.10.19
She is the girl I've always wanted.
YOU ARE READING
Assurgent Construction
PoesíaA poetry collection of an American Filipino. the following expresses his thoughts and emotions as he studies abroad. This is the second book in Culture Distortion.