Bit of Confusion (Series 2 COMPLETED)

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"No! Ako na lang" mahinahon na tanggi ni Kuya habang hinihila si Cleo palapit sa kanya.

Napipilitan lang naman siya, I can see his glaring eyes for Cleo but Cleo doesn't care at all. Patingin tingin lang siya sakin.

"Hayaan mo na kay Lily! Halika na Aizen!" kitang kita ko naman ang pag protesta ni Kuya pero wala din siyang nagawa ng hinila siya papalabas ni Chell.

"Ahm! Let's buy foods What do you want Hija?" nakangiting tanong sakin ni Mama. She look nervous too tiningnan ko naman si Mama na tahimik din habang nakatayo sa gilid ready na din yata lumabas.

"Anything will do." nakangiti kong sabi habang tinitingnan sila dalawa na papalabas na din sa kwarto.

"Come here." nakanguso kong sabi habang tinatap ang gilid ng kama I want him to sit here para mas madali kong malagyan ng gamot ang bangas niya.

Tahimik na lumapit sakin si Cleo, dinig ko ang mahinang sound ng TV at ang tunog ng Aircon.

Kinuha ko naman ang cotton na may betadine. Tiningnan ko bahagya ang mukha ni Cleo. He look handsome pa din kahit may pasa. Sana all.

"Tell me pag masakit." mahinang bulong ko bago ko nilapat ang bulak na may betadine sa gilid ng labi niya.

Di naman ganun kalaki ang sugat pero kitang kita ang pasa dun. My Kuya can actually punch this hard huh?!

Tahimik na tumango lang si Cleo sa sinabi ko he is always looking away his kind of afraid to look at me I think.

Ano ba kinakatakot nito? Is he afraid of me? Akala ba niya baliw ako?

"It's just a simple Autophobia" mahina kong bulong habang nilalagyan ng betadine ang labi niya. I felt his gaze when I started talking.

This is my first time opening about this trauma. Sa Therapist ko lang sinabi to.

Dinig ko ang malalim na paghinga niya.

"It's kind of Anxiety Disorder I've been battling for almost a year. I thought it's already cure pero I think hindi pa." I chuckled suddenly to ease the heavy atmosphere I don't want him to feel na kasalanan niya. It was actually my fault I'm the one who start to overthink some stupid reasons kung bakit na triggered ulit ang phobia ko.

His just silent, and I'm thankful about it, as long as his here I can calm the shit of me. I don't know why though.

"I'm afraid of being left alone, I'm always over thinking whenever I'm alone. Na triggered lang yata kanina I thought Kuya Aizen will left me because you see I'm immature." I tried to smile pero unti unti yung nawala ng makita ko ang seryoso at malungkot na mukha ni Cleo.

Nakatira akong mag isa dati sa Unit namin, I always cried at night pero natatakot akong umalis dun. Every night I'm hoping na uuwi siya I don't want to depend on my family that time dahil may kanya kanya kaming problema. Kuya and Dad have a problem in company. Mitchell is taking care of my nephew I lost my contact with her to I'm afraid to talk with her baka di ko mapigilan na masabi lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

Tiningnan ko naman si Cleo at bahagya kong binigyan ng ngiti. I wanted to cry pero pinipigilan ko lang. Madami pa akong gustong sabihin.

My husband, he look so lost but whenever I look at him I felt that I am home.

"I'm sorry." mahinang bulong niya naibaba ko naman ang kamay kong may bulak. I don't know what to say I suddenly lost my voice, all the thoughts in my mind.

Nakakatawa lang siya ang naging dahilan ng lahat ng sakit na to pero siya din ang dahilan kung bakit ako kumakalma ngayon.

His face is walking anti depressants for me.

I want to say it's okey it's not your fault pero walang lumalabas na salita sakin. I want him to feel na wala siyang kasalanan. Maybe he have shares of fault too but I have mine also and I don't want to be burden to anyone's life! especially on him.

"I'm okey." mahinang kung sabi habang tinitingnan siya sa mukha. I just wanted to be happy, I wanted to be with you. Yan ang nasa dulo ng dila ko na gustong gusto kong sabihin.

"Is there anything I can do?" his hand is shaking while saying it, there's a hint of sadness and guilt in his eyes.

"My doctor said being with someone who can make me feel safe can help me to overcome this anxiety" mahina kong bulong sapat na para madinig niya.

Ramdam ko ang higpit ng hawak niya sa kamay ko,he look so lost and he looked afraid.

It's just so amazing I can be free and vulnerable infront of him.

Ramdam na ramdam ko ang bigat sa dibdib ko, I never thought this day would actually come. Akala ko noon mamatay na lang ako't lahat-lahat na di nakikita ang asawa ko.

"I feel safe with you." mahina kong dugtong bago mag unahan ang luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

He envelope me with his hug, It feels so warm it's calming all the rational thoughts in my head. Dinig ko ang singhot niya at ramdam na ramdam ko ang higpit ng yakap niya.

"Then be with me, I promise I won't leave you this time." dinig na dinig ko yun but I'm scared to try I won't recover again kung mauulit yun.

He gently hold my shoulder para iharap ako sa kanya his eyes is red too. Did he cried? He wiped the tears from my face bago nilapit ang mukha niya sakin.

My heart is pounding badly I felt his lips on my temple.

Umawang ang labi ko it's not actually the first time he kissed me. I remember kissing him on our wedding pero this kind of kiss It felt so sweet.

"I will make sure everyday you'll feel safe with me, please give me a chance." he whispered while looking intently at my lips he move closer at my face I want to protest but before my words came out I felt his soft lips on mine.