Noah Baker || ✔

25

25 | Just Us For Now
Song: everything I wanted
By: Billie Eilish

To be continued —

🔳Noah's POV 🔲

I leaned my head against Mereck's car window as we drove off of school campus. Just seeing all the trees go by without a sound made me think of the dark memory. where there was nothing I could do. There was no sound after what happened. Just the sound of my cries. Cries for help.

"Hey"

my eyes darted from the window to Mereck's voice. As I looked at him, he switched from the road to me a few times before pulling over.

as the car stopped, I stopped too. Well, I wanted to stop. but I kept my eyes and mind in the zone. Everything around me felt dark and depressing. The only sound I could hear was Mereck's breathing pattern. Oh, how it makes me drift off into a place of Zen. I'm totally zen right now.

"Noah"

his voice again made me drift. my mind didn't want to face reality ever again. it wanted to stay in my bubble of happiness. . .  or zones if you will.

I could feel him talking to me but I couldn't listen, I can't listen. nobody ever listens to me, why should I listen to them?

"Noah, talk to me."

I could've done something, fought back but no I froze and went into shock. If I couldn't fight back, this never would've happened!

the feeling is coming back. my eyes feel glossy. I could feel my face or my entire body getting hot. Then I let out I cried. "fuck. . ." I mumbled. I felt a few years come down. I brought my head up to cover my eyes.

with my teeth grinding and my eyes getting redder and redder, it was getting harder to breathe.

then I felt the car moving but I kept my head down and tried to calm down.

The car soon stopped and I heard Mereck's car door open and slam shut.

My heart stopped for a moment as I thought maybe he was mad at me?

I held my breath but then saw him coming back around to his side. He got back in and sat down. I just sat there, contemplating what he was doing.

then he looked at me and looked deep into my soul. it's like he was looking for something to say.

just having and being with a friendly face made me so happy. I kind of forgot that I was just crying. the tears stopped coming out and my breathing went down to normal again. I whipped some away and just continued to stare.

he soon broke the silence.

"What on your mind?"

my breathing hitched and I hiccupped.
what's on my mind? Everything. What do you think? Everyone hates me! I need Gray but he's being a dick, I can't get ahold of JT, Ashton is nowhere to be seen and then turns out Ben is a predator.

I said, "I feel disgusting, I feel gross, I feel like everything is falling apart..." I stopped because the truth was gonna come out. "I feel alone, I want everything to go back to normal with me and Gray. I want to know where my girlfriend is... " I paused again. ". . . why me?"