Off Record [Ereri/Riren] ✓

5 ⚕︎Malevolent ✍︎

Off Record
Chapter 5
⚕︎Malevolent ✍︎
Levi

ma·lev·o·lent

/məˈlevələnt/

adjective

having or showing a wish to do evil to others.

"How'd you sleep last night?" I ask according to protocol, watching a subtitled snuff film from my computer. It has my attention more than the brunet at the moment.

"Fine." He mumbles numbly, still curled up in a ball on the floor.

"You look like shit. Do you need anything?" My eyes stay glued to the screen.

"Not from you."

"It's my job to provide for you and help you."

Eren scoffs. "That's funny." He raises the hand I'd bitten. "From my viewpoint you're shit at your job."

"You probably enjoyed it." I feign typing so he'll think I'm doing something for him rather than myself. I purposefully turned off the video cameras, so it's not like I'll get caught.

"Cocky prick." Eren mutters.

"Is it safe to imply that what I said was true?" I pause my film.

Eren shifts. "Of course not."

I resume my film. "Are you going to say anything productive? You would think that if you'd want to get well enough to have relationships with the other patients. Some are even sexually and/or romantically involved. I guess you like being caged like an animal. Fine by me. I'm not one to kink shame."

Eren flips himself over so he can look at me. "I don't trust you."

"You don't think that what I just said is true?"

"I do want to get better. I don't like being secluded in here with only you as company."

"Then stop hiding things and just tell me everything."

"What do you want me for? Why am I really here?"

"You're here because you're hurting and I'm supposed to help you fix yourself."

The disbelief in Eren's eyes is as clear as day. Who the fuck had hurt this kid? "Fine. What do I need to do?"

"What makes you change?" I press. "I need to know."

I can see Eren shut down at the question. "If I knew, I'd tell you."

"No you wouldn't. You just said that you don't trust me."

"You're not the one being asked to spill your guts for a stranger." Eren hisses. "You can't imagine how it feels."

"Tons of psychologists and psychiatrists have had counseling or are currently in counseling. It isn't sympathy, it's empathy."

Eren sits up. "Tell me why I should trust you."

"I find you insanely beautiful." I look at him for a split second before returning to my film. "I find your mind beautiful and interesting and I may like to watch you squirm, but I wouldn't have this job if I wasn't the best at what I do. I am the head doctor. We're taking you seriously, so you should take us seriously. We might not go by the book per say, but we do get results."

Eren's breath hitches as if he's never once in his life heard a compliment. "Still...telling you how I change would be the equivalent of giving you complete control. As a control freak, you must understand why that isn't an appealing thought." 

"That wouldn't be giving me complete control. Would it be that bad, to have someone understand?" I hold back a smirk as the film progresses.

"I've heard that before. You're trying to manipulate me by pretending to be nice." Eren huffs. "It won't work."

"If I really wanted to manipulate you, I'd make you need me."

Eren shivers. "Whatever."

"Is there any correlation between your self harm and you changing?"

Eren is silent for a few moments. "Maybe."

"Did this happen when you were left alone?" I ask. "Did solitude create the voices? Are you lonely? What scares you?"

"I don't...I don't know. I've always been alone, I've adapted to prefer it. I'm not scared of much, I just..." he squeezes his eyes shut. "I don't want to be used."

"Used in what way?" I inquire. "We're not looking for some insane super soldier like the Hulk, brat. We're just doing our jobs, clocking out, and putting food on the table."

"When people see him they either feel one of two emotions, fear or greed. If they aren't scared of me then they want to use me as a weapon." He explains.

"If I use you, it won't be as a weapon."

Eren smirks. "You won't if you value your life."

"Who said I value my life?" I challenge.

"And people call me suicidal." Eren chuckles.

"Like I'd be the one getting hurt."

"You're initiating fights enough that I'm starting to think you get off on it."

"Maybe I'm sadistic." I close my laptop and look him in the eyes with a smirk.

He meets my gaze easily. "I wouldn't be surprised."

I get up and leave the brunet. "Call Ryder if you need anything, brat. Do anything shitty and you'll be punished accordingly.

-

I plop down in a hotel bed in nothing but my boxers, smoking a cigarette carelessly.

"Sir-"

"You were paid. Why the fuck are you still here?" I ask.

She just nods and dresses before leaving.

Disgusting.

I bag up all of the equipment and dress in a black hoodie and jeans, lacing up my boots tirelessly. Being a doctor is stressful, especially when it equates to babysitting dramatic brats.

Returning the room key, I position my bag on my shoulder and head to my car, throwing the bag into the trunk. The drive to the pier is boring, but I've dealt with worse. The radio is nothing more than static as I drive closer and closer to my destination of choice.

I park, grabbing the bag along with matches and gasoline. I pour a generous amount on the bag and light it, watching it smolder for a while before making sure to properly put the fire out as to not put any animals in danger.

This has become a common practice after getting with a hooker. I have absolutely no desire to keep anything after it's been used on such an act with such a person. I don't judge too harshly though. A fuck is a fuck and as long as they carry no STIs and I get to do what I want, I'm fine.

I return to my car and head to my one story house situated in a quiet suburban area, the neighborhood cookie cutter and dull.

When I arrive home, I lock and relock the door four times and put my shoes on the rack. I get to cleaning and then make myself a Hot Pocket, unphased by how it burns the roof of my mouth along with my mouth. I clean up my mess four times and then head to the shower.

The water is turned up to the highest setting despite my skin's protests and I shower myself until I see that my skin is glowing red. I dry off and fold my dirty clothes before putting them in the dirty clothes bin.

I settle into my bed and let the sheets envelop my naked body, feeling as empty as ever.

__________________________
Author's Note:

Thoughts?

-Ari