Off Record [Ereri/Riren] ✓

54 ⚕︎Disturbance ✍︎

Off Record
Chapter 54
⚕︎Disturbance ✍︎
Eren

dis·tur·bance

/dəˈstərbəns/

noun

the interruption of a settled and peaceful condition

Eyes closed.

The last time I'd awoken, I'd had a flash of panic, scared to open my eyes, afraid that I would come face to face with an afterlife. That I'd be nothing more than an afterthought.

Do I trust Levi with my life?

Yes. Easily. Trusting him comes to me as naturally as breathing does. However, it had felt like death. I remember the feeling of his hand around my throat, the pain of my lungs fighting for air, the primal urge to fight to live. I'd ignored it all until my body couldn't fight any longer and my legs crumbled beneath me and I wondered if I'd ever wake up again.

It's less that I trust Levi not to kill me, and more of an understanding that if he does, he'll have a damn good reason. I'm not trusting him to take care of my life, I'm trusting him to own it. If he chooses to end it, that is well within his right.

I sit up and open my eyes, greeted by a note instead of my boyfriend. The note is carefully written out and placed precisely on top of a new gown. I pick it up and read it, smiling at what it says.

Dear Brats,

     If you're reading this, then you didn't wake up with me by your side. I had to go home to make sure Hanji didn't burn down the house. If you feel any pain that you can't deal with, Xander and Ryder will help. Ryder should be bringing you tea and pills regardless, so behave and take them.

     I'll be back eventually today, not too late. So I guess if you need company, you could visit another patient or have one of your supporters such as Ryder, Xander, Melanie, or Lynne come to keep you company.

Don't kill yourselves,
Levi Ackerman

I set the note on top of my pillow and pull the new gown on. I have no idea what time it is so I summon Ryder and ask him. He tells me that it's about 3 a.m. and I ask him if I can get my shower done early, knowing that I couldn't possibly work out today. Ryder takes me to the showers and I wash quickly, going through my morning routine. When I exit the shower I stop in front of a mirror upon seeing a familiar handprint printed prominently across my neck.

Ryder catches me staring. "How does it make you feel?" he asks in a whisper, almost as if he's afraid to allow the words to slip past his lips.

I run my fingertips over the mark, unable to analyze the feeling in my gut. "It doesn't make me feel anything bad." I assure Ryder with a small smile.

"That's good." he says and pulls something out of his bag.

"What's that?" I ask.

"Makeup, to cover it." Ryder replies and I return my gaze to the mirror.

"I..."

"You don't want it hidden." Ryder supplies. I nod. He pulls out a brush and begins applying the foundation. "I know the feeling but rules are rules."

After that I keep my mouth shut and let him do his job. Once the handprint is covered I pull my gown on and Ryder covers anything that the gown doesn't. He takes me back to my room after that. He offers to stay but I wave him off. It's late, well, early, and he needs his rest. I'm certain I can entertain myself for a few hours.