Off Record [Ereri/Riren] ✓

49 ⚕︎Ordinary ✍︎

Off Record
Chapter 49
⚕︎Ordinary ✍︎
Levi

or·di·nar·y

/ˈôrdnˌerē/

noun

what is commonplace or standard

I sit at my desk, chewing on my bottom lip as I watch a snuff film, one of my many weird and dangerous coping mechanisms. The aspect of death has always been alluring to me and I've had this weird, almost magnetic attraction to the loss of life since watching my mother die. It awoke many questions that I'll never find the answers to.

My eyes just blink as I watch the person go lifeless and the murderers continue to fuck the corpse. I eat dry Cheerios with a spoon as I watch, highly interested.

What goes through their minds to want this? Is it even enjoyable?

I'm slightly annoyed that I'm not well enough nor in control enough to shut off my internal monologue, but it's whatever. I just watch.

I picture Eren and blink my eyes, my crazed brain conjuring up images that I haven't given permission to draw up.

If I choke him just right, he'll pass out. That's kind of like being dead, right? I don't want Eren to actually die to experience it. It doesn't even seem that appealing. They're all cold and gross and shit. One time I read somewhere that when some people die, they shit. That's fucking disgusting. Shit is where I draw the line. I'll try most shit, but feces? Fuck that shit.

I wonder if Eren would be up for it?

"Levi?"

I slam my laptop shut and blink, regaining my mental composure only to see it's Melanie. I relax. "Oh. Hey, Melanie."

She sits in the chair in front of me and spins around childishly. "Can you be my psychiatrist?"

"Only if you are mine." I smirk, saying what I always said back in university.

Melanie just chuckles, playing with her cornflower blue blouse that brings out the spot of the exact same shade in her left eye, the blue flowing against the warm brown. She used to be super self conscious about that eye, wearing a brown contact over it to cover the anomaly.

"Soooooooooo..." She drags out, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know if you know this, but Lynne and I are dating..."

I roll my eyes. "I had no fucking clue."

"Thanks for the much needed sarcasm, asshat."

"You're welcome. Get on with it."

She plays with her mini pigtails, biting her lip. "So like, I'm getting old and shit."

"You're twenty-three. If you're old, then I'm fucking antiquated."

"So glad you're getting the point." Mel smirks before clearing her throat. "So like, uh, Lynne is like twenty-five..."

"I know how old you two are. Just get on with it before we're both forty."

"Doyouthinkthatperhapsit'sweirdtobeinthisforlikethelongrun?"

"What?"

"Well, you see..." She smirks at me. "I don't want to be almost thirty and a loser like you in the future so I was like, 'I've dated around for a while and I know what I want and I want Lynne so why not try and go into this thinking that marriage could be an option?' Like, she's great and Iz has made it so I want to adopt a kid and just why not? Like, I'm not saying that I want to get married at this second, but like, if it's a possibility with her that's all I want and if she doesn't see ever getting married then I can't stay. It's not like I care about the paper or anything. It's more the whole having custody of a kid thing, you know?"