Off Record [Ereri/Riren] ✓

51 ⚕︎Sentimental ✍︎

Off Record
Chapter 51
⚕︎Sentimental ✍︎
Melanie

sen·ti·men·tal

/ˌsen(t)əˈmen(t)l/

adjective

of or prompted by feelings of tenderness, sadness, or nostalgia

I tap away at my phone while lying on Lynne's bed as I wait for us to have our date day.

Lynne steps out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her. "Alright, just let me get dressed, then we can go." She smiles.

Nodding, I redirect my attention until I decide to watch her because I'm just like that. I watch her, eyes trailing all over her body until they settle on her left ankle.

Lynne looks back. "Checking me ou—? Babe?"

"What?" I blink. "Oh yeah. I was checking you out."

"Are you okay? You look upset." Lynne says, pulling her clothes on quickly.

I smile easily despite it being fiction. "Of course I'm okay. We're going to the movies."

"No..." Lynne walks over and sits on the bed next to me. "Talk to me, Mel, I've never seen you look at me like that. Please."

Letting out a deep breath, I sigh. "Who's Ashley?" I ask, no malicious intent in my voice.

"Oh," Lynne looks down at the tattoo. "She was my first girlfriend." she smiles sadly. "We got tatted up with fake IDs when we were sixteen. It was a long time ago."

I bite my lip. "I had a feeling it was like that, but I tried telling myself it was a family member."

Lynne places her hand on my shoulder. "Does it bother you?"

Shaking my head wildly, I hold up my hands. "Obviously if she's still there, you have a valid reason. It's just weird when we're... when we're having... sex..."

Lynne nods, understanding and rubs my arm. "I'm sorry, Melanie. I would've gotten rid of it but... I couldn't bring myself to do it. It felt like I'd be dishonoring her if I did. She..." Lynne looks away. "She died while we were still together. I keep it to remember her by."

Subconsciously, I touch my tattoo and look down. "I figured it was for a valid reason. You know me. I'm still the same geek with low self esteem."

"You're my geek and I love the hell out of you for it. Mels, you mean everything to me." Lynne reassures me.

I lie down and roll over so I'm on my stomach. "I feel bad."

Lynne begins rubbing my back. "Talk to me."

"I wish it was me instead of her."

"Are you saying you wish it was your name or that you wish you were..."

"That I was the one to be dead and that you still had her name tattooed so that you could be together," I say, the pillow muffling my words. "You'd probably... your life up until now would be so much lighter and I think it'd be amazing if I could somehow turn back time and make you even happier."

"You don't know the whole story." Lynne says angrily. "And don't you dare think something as stupid as that. I love you and I don't want her instead. If I could go back, I would never trade your place with hers."

"I wasn't trying to make you angry and even if... it's complicated." I close my eyes and just breathe in the pillow.

"The way she died, Mels, it was violent and it was brutal and it was dirty and I couldn't bare-" she chokes on her words. "I couldn't bare to see that happen to you."