Off Record [Ereri/Riren] ✓

22 ⚕︎Fervor ✍︎

Off Record
Chapter 22
⚕︎Fevor ✍︎
Eren

fer·vor

/ˈfərvər/

noun

intense and passionate feeling.

Hanji told me that Levi doesn't want help. But he's here, he came to me, and that means enough to calm my mind and allow me to focus on him instead of on myself.

I never know what to do or what to say when people are sad. I can't even tell exactly what he's feeling, all I know is that I have to do something. So I did.

We stayed pressed together in silence for a bit. I will give him anything he needs. I want to be here for him like he's been here for me.

"It's getting late. Shouldn't you be heading to sleep?" Levi asks.

"I guess but I'm not tired." I shrug.

"Are you sure? You might die while working out or something if you're too tired."

"I doubt I'll drop dead." I roll my eyes. "I've been in worse circumstances."

"I'm sure you have, but you also hadn't been with Lynne in any of them." He starts to mess with my hair lazily.

"True... Lynne is frightening."

He chuckles. "Who's scarier?"

"Like, you or her? Because I'm not scared of you. Not anymore."

"I don't know if I should feel offended or not."

I laugh. "You hold yourself back a lot. There's no need to be scared of someone who's got their shit under control."

"You think I have my shit under control?" Levi laughs darkly.

"Well, I did." I search his eyes.

"It's complicated."

"I don't think I could survive leaving you." I say quietly. "So whatever darkness is inside of you, it won't chase me away."

"You'd survive," he assures me. "You're not as fragile as you think."

"I'm glad you think so." I smile. I don't know whether to believe him or not.

"You will. You'll get better, leave, and find a future."

"What if I don't want to leave?"

He just shakes his head. "There's no way you want to stay in a psych ward."

"I want to stay with you." I feel a heavy weight in my chest.

"Why?" His eyebrows draw together and his lips form a straight line.

"Because I chose you. Because you make me feel safe and you keep me sane but you also aren't afraid to tell me when I'm in the wrong. I need that kind of direction."

"So you want me to be your guardian or something?" Levi asks, frazzled.

"N-no, I-" I sigh to collect my thoughts. "You said you loved me. I want... that, some kind of relationship. Or at least for me to be in your life, hell, I'll be your sex slave for fucks sake." I laugh. "I just want to be with you."

"You want to live with me? Like a married couple or a family?"

"Or just friends but yeah." I bite my lower lip nervously.

"... Okay..."

"Take your time and think about it, please, I know it's a lot."

"I said okay," he repeats firmly. "You can fucking live with me, Eren."