alone | noen eubanks

epilogue

                                  Noens POV
04/22/2022
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text messages
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                              stoner artist
L: NOEN.
N: yes
L: DID YOU SEE OH MY GOD
N: see what lyra and what's with the caps? are you excited or scared
L: @scarlettsalone INSTAGRAM NOW
N: i'm literally having a date right now, can i check later
L: CHECK. NOW. ITS. SCAR.

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I haven't thought of Scar that much since we broke up just a little bit under two years ago. Lyra and I gave up on trying to find out where Scar went the day she disappeared, she left a note saying that she was fine and wanted a break from everything.

I look up at my date, she gives me an odd look.

"Home town friend texted me with an emergency, sorry." I say putting down my phone. I'm not interested in knowing anything about Scar anymore.

"Oh it's okay if you wanna call them or something." Laurel says to me.

We've been talking for the past two months, todays gonna be the day I ask her out and make her mine officially.

She's famous for makeup, even has her own palette coming out soon, we were forced to hangout because of Kyra but we actually hit it off and I enjoyed her company.

"It's fine, actually I have something important I need to ask you."

"Yeah sure, what is it?" Laurels eyes light up, almost as if she's expecting me to ask her.

"Will-" My phone rings with a call from Lyra again, a picture. I groan and open it. "Hold on." I get up and walk towards the bathroom.

"Noen, you won't believe who followed me just now." Lyra said, trying to maintain her cool.

"Scar?" She already told me, what's the point of this, Scar made her decision two years ago and I made mine.

"How do you know?" She asks shocked.

"Who let you attend college?" I laugh slightly, I can practically sense Lyra's eye roll through the phone. "Isn't it kind of late, didn't you say it was midterm season and not to distract you."

"Scar disappeared because she was traveling the world, no one knew where she was because she was going from place to place Noen! This is good news, she's still alive, there's still hope." Lyra slightly squeals and I hear a slight sushing, it's like midnight for her right now.

"There's no hope for nothing Ly. Scar made her choice and I'm making mine. She can't just disappear for two years, break up over text then reappear and we got back together. I tried to be patient with her but she never wanted to return the energy." I feel myself raising my voice and just take a deep breath. "Whatever feelings I had for Scar, they're long gone, stop trying to cling onto hope that is long gone."

I wait for Lyra to say something back but she just stays silent.

"As I was saying before, I have a date and I'm making my choice today, goodbye." I hung up before she could answer and turned off my phone. No more distractions.

I quickly throw water on my face and began to wipe it off when a guy walked out of the stall.

I gave him a slight smile. "You're younger than I imagined." He said, I gave him a questioning look. "At the same time you're having female problems. I know this is a weird place but you wanna talk it through. I could give you advice." The man was at least in his later thirties but he had a caring tone of speaking.

I nodded my head. "Mid junior year of highschool, this girl moved from upstate New York to the town I lived in, a small town North-ish from Atlanta. Our parents knew eachother so I was kind of forced to become her friend but since it was mid-year I knew she'd have trouble making friends so I didn't mind it.  A few weeks later at a party, she meets a girl and they hit it off and whatever. That's important for later on. Fast forward to around my 17th birthday, we got extremely closer and my social media career was beginning to take off. Fast forward Summer, I go on tour, I blow up even more, so on. Beginning of Senior year she tries to kill her self says before I plan on asking her out. I visit her in the hospital and she explains why and then I asked her out, we started dating, she later on explains to me that the girl from the party and her used to hookup often while we were talking. Fast forward end of senior year, graduation, I announce Im moving out here and she says she isn't planning on doing anything even though she did graduate as one of the top students, I tell her to come to LA with me and a week later she ghosts me and doesn't show up to the airport, breaking up with me over text. Now she appears again after two years and our bestfriend expects for me to get back with her." I inhale, catching my breath. Did I really just rant to some random guy in a bathroom?

He appears to be thinking for a second. "Did you love her?" I feel myself get taken aback by the question.

"Well yeah, I did." I say slowly, I don't get what he's getting at.

"Do you love the girl that's out there?" He asks.

"I never really thought about it.." I say after realizing I barely know Laurel, we've been friends for a month yet I know nothing of her personal life.

"Why'd you stop loving the girl, sounds like you cared about her and I haven't even heard the full story." He walks to the sink and starts washing his hands. "You had nothing bad to say about her even after all the stuff she put you through, are you sure you don't love her anymore or you just don't feel it anymore?" He began to dry his hands.

My mouth goes dry as I try to answer his question, I stutter out a few random noises.

"I'm just telling you son, the moment you see her again everything you felt will come back, that's probably why you're pretending you don't care." The man pats my shoulder and walks out the bathroom without saying anything further.

I walk out a while after him.

"What took you so long?" Laurel asked as I sat down. "Was starting to think you jumped out a window and left." She reaches for my hand on the table and I jerk it away as soon as touches it.

She shoots me a slight offended, slight 'what is going on look'.

"Can we get a check please?" I signal at the waiter as they pass by.

"Noen? We haven't even eaten? Weren't you gonna ask me something?" Her voice perks up at the last part, a pang of guilt fills my chest.

"If you wanna eat just stay, I'll pay for you." I inhale a deep breath, my eyes landing on the guy from the bathroom a few tables down talking to who I'm guessing is his wife, they laugh together and he's eyes land on me, he winks before paying attention at his wife again. "Look, forget that, what I wanted isn't gonna work, I'm sorry."

The waiter comes with the bill and I pay.

"I thought you liked me." Laurel says in a small voice after the waiter leaves. My stomach fills with instant regret.

"I thought I did too. I'm truly sorry, truth is.." I close my eyes to think, this is a really bitchy move for me. "I think I'm still in love with my ex." Laurel looks like she's about to cry and I can't handle looking at her any longer knowing it's my fault.

I wave a small goodbye and walk away, passing by the bathroom guys table.

"Thank you for helping me out." I say, stopping briefly before exiting the restaurant.

I'm quick on my phone with calling an uber, texting Lyra, all that stuff.

Before I know it I'm at my apartment, packing for a trip back to Georgia, with only one thing on my mind, Scar.

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a proper ending.