alone | noen eubanks

21

Scars POV
My alarm woke me up the next morning. I get out of bed and run over to the bathroom.
I throw up in the toilet and sit hugging the toilet bowl for a few minutes collecting my thoughts.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I get up and brush my teeth, afterwards I take a shower, washing my hair. I changed into a simple outfit.
Noen was leaving for tour today and then europe after. He was going to miss the first two and a half weeks of school.
My birthday was coming up and me and Lyra are going to Hawaii. My parents couldn't come this year but atleast I'll be with my bestfriend.
We leave on Thursday and come back the 25th of July. A whole week in Hawaii.
The tour comes to Atlanta the 24th but will still be in Hawaii so I won't see Noen then. My birthday is the 26th, the day after we come back. Lyra and I are just planning on hanging at my house watching movies the whole day and ordering a pizza.
I look at the time, 8:21. Noens gonna be here any moment now. He was picking up Lyra before me.
I get a text, thinking it was either Noen or Lyra, I look at it.
Jillian?

My doorbell rings before I can even think of an answer for Jillian.
Yeah me and Jillian have been close ever since the party, but I don't think I love her too.
What's up with everyone saying they love me? There's nothing special about me. I'm probably gonna die before my 18th birthday, why waste their hearts on me.
I go downstairs and close my eyes and allow myself to pull in all my emotions.
I don't want to get sad saying goodbye to Noen for basically a month. I don't want to even remotely think about what sickness could be making me throw up everything morning and sometimes throughout the day. I don't want to think at all about what Jillian said.
My life wasn't the best but it was a lot simpler without all this love crap added to it.
The doorbell rings again and I open the door immediately, opening my eyes and smiling at Lyra when I see her.
"Hey girl. You ready." She says extending her arm.
I take it and we walk towards Noens car.
She gets in the passenger seat so I sit in the back.
"Hey Noen."
"Hey Scar." Noen says with a tint of sadness in his voice.
I immediately feel my feelings beginning to surface and close my eyes to tune them out.
I hear shuffling in front of me and open my eyes to see Lyra elbowing Noen. I look in the rear view mirror to see Noen looking back at me and Lyra with her head slightly turned facing me.
"Yes?" I say.
"Oh nothing." Lyra says facing forward.
I look between them curiously before focusing my attention to the diner we pull up to.
"I've never seen this one before."
"You haven't been here long enough." Noen says.
He parks the car and we exit. We walk into the diner and sit at a booth.
No more then a minute later a waitress walks over. She hands us menu and asks what we want to drink.
We say what we want and she's goes to the back and brings it.
We end up talking about what we're all doing the next couple of weeks.
"That's about it. Tour, back home one day, Europe." Noen says. "I wish you could come with me Scar." He adds a hint of sadness to the last sentence.
"Yeah and what about me." Lyra says sarcastically.
"You know if I could go it'd be with Lyra too. You'd be busy and I'd get to explore with Lyra." I take a sip of my drink.
Our food comes out and we eat.
By the time we leave the diner it's already 10:45.
"You guys wanna come with me to airport?" Noen asks.
"Of course." I immediately say.
"I need to get my suitcase from my house. Let's go get it and drive over. You guys can bring my car back for me I guess." Noen gets up to leave.
Lyra nods. We both get up and follow him to his car.
We spend the whole way to his house singing and laughing to different songs on the radio.
"I didn't know you could say Ly." I say as we pull into Noens driveway. We wait in the car as he goes in.
"I sometimes sing for fun when I'm bored. But nothing serious." She shrugs.
"You have serious talent. You should make something out of it." I nudge her.
"It's just something I do when I'm bored Scar. I've never seen myself doing something serious with it." She turns up the radio, probably trying to avoid the conversation and starts dancing in her seat to the song.
"Dance with me Scar." I notice she's cursive dancing.
I join in but can't stop laughing.
I see Noens door open and he comes out. I begin laughing and stop dancing.
Lyra joins in as Noen walks to the back and puts his suitcase in the trunk.
He sits down in the drivers seat, swings his Minecraft bookbag to the back near my feet, me and Lyra still laughing.
"What are you two laughing about?" He asks.
"You really own a creeper bookbag? I thought that was just a joke?" I say while catching my breath before laughing again.
Lyra's just laughing and pointing from him to the bag.
"Oh shut up. No problem with my minecraft sheets but there's a problem with my creeper bag?" He rolls his eyes and pulls out of the driveway.
"Creeper." Lyra says when she finally stops laughing.
"Aw mannnnnn." I say while laughing even harder.
"Haha very funny." Noen says turning up the radio louder.
Lyra and I finally calm down after a few minutes and we spend the rest of the drive in silence listening to music.
The fact dawning on me that Noens really leaving for two weeks and I probably won't get to see him for more than a few hours then again for another two weeks.
I stare out the window at the tall city towers coming into view.
The phrase 'time flies on the highway' really is accurate. I lost all sense of time since we began driving. All I know is time is speeding up meaning Noen won't be in my presence much longer.
I feel extremely clingy all of a sudden. I spent the last 8 months seeing Noen atleast every other day and now I won't see him for a while.
I'll still see Lyra but it'll feel different.
I get a text and look at my phone to notice it's Jillian.

(if you got this it's a wonderful life reference ily) (or even from peeps song ily2)
I close my eyes after sending the last text.
"You okay?" Noen says breaking the silence. I open my eyes to meet his in the rear view mirror.
"Yeah just tired I guess." I lie. I drift my view back towards the city.
I see Noen and Lyra eyeing eachother in my peripheral vision.
It's not like me and Noen are dating, I can do whatever I want.
We arrive at the airport and park Noens car.
Lyra and I walk with him up to the security checkpoint.
Him and Lyra say goodbye to eachother first, they hug. My jaw drops. Of all the time I've know the two of them I've never seen them hug.
I close my mouth just as Lyra turns to me.
"I'll be over there." Lyra says winking and pointing to a bench. She leaves Noen and I.
"I'm gonna miss you." I say.
"The moment I come back from tour we can hang out. I just wish I could atleast see you at the Atlanta show." He says extending his arms.
I return the expression and hug him back.
"I love you Scar." He whispers into my ear.
Guilt immediately coursing through my body. I shake the feeling away and plant a kiss on his cheek.
"See you soon." I say letting go of him. We smile at eachother as he turns to leave.
I stay looking after him, biting my nails, as he leaves. Once I can no longer see him anymore I turn to go towards Lyra.
She also looks sad and that's when I notice that gravities been pulling on my lips also causing me to frown.
"I'm going to miss him for the next two weeks. It's not going to be the same." I say and look down.
"Hey, soon we're gonna be the ones leaving for Hawaii. We aren't going to be completely bored, maybe will meet some new cute boys." Lyra says smiling. I put my arm around her neck.
"You're really something else Ly." I giggle. She laughs too.
As we walk towards Noens car in silence, all I can think about is seeing Jillian tomorrow and then again when we come back from Hawaii.
I feel the guilt take over every part of my body.
I've become exactly what ruined me before. Atleast before it wasn't true.

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i'm sorry for taking forever & a day to write a new chapter i've been hit with the biggest editors block it's ridiculous anyways thanks for 7k reads that's crazy