Vent Stories/Things

Envy : )

I sat down on my bed, concentrating on a homework assignment that was given to me. My sister having her music on while sitting down, I had my headphones on and was too busy working on the assignment.

Still then, I could hear her and her friends talking about whatever. They rambled to another, joked, sang, and laughed. My step brother was at a friend's house and my brother was listening to music and playing games with his own friends.

I slowly looked down, pressing down my pencil hard against the sheet of paper to the point of where it was about to break. My palms became sweaty a bit with my lip curling and twitching from my teeth being grit.

Irritated, I sighed loud in annoyance and picked up my folder with my paper. I walked up the stairs and sat down on the table so I don't have to listen to everyone's nonsense,

But I'd always act grumpy whenever they'd do this. Not because I'm bitch or anything, but I actually envied all of them. I envy everyone in fact,

Everyone in the house had friends to hang out or go around with, except for me. It makes me a bit sad and still does to this day,

And if you don't get what I mean..

This was back then. Now I am laying down on my side, typing on my phone.

It may sound selfish even, but I envy my friends and lover.

All of them have someone to hang out with. I appreciate them all of course, but I just have my family. I envy that a lot.

I envy that they all have someone or a group to hang out with.

I envy that they all can hang out and do stuff together.

I envy that they can laugh and have a decent conversation while being around in person.

I envy that they can help one another and do hilarious stuff.

It sounds shitty and like I'm selfish, but it makes me sad and jealous at the same time.

I get sad that I get lonely sometimes when they don't talk to me, even if I understand that they're hanging out and having fun which I'm happy about. But I can't help but feel alone.

I get jealous when they say how much fun that they're having and the things that they do, I can't do that with anyone.

Hanging out with family members? Everyone is older than me or has one thing in common that they all do that I won't say in this writing.

All of the younger girl cousins are gone, it's just the boys. But then again, as childish as I act there's a big difference between friends and family hanging around you.

I just get sad thinking about how I'm alone in person with no one around but my family.

And yet all of you get to hang out.

I envy it a lot...

I.
Envy.
It.
A.
Lot.

I try not to,

But I always do.

: )