𝒢ℯ𝓉 ℳℯ 𝒪𝓊𝓉

𝟷𝟶.

Jason's POV
Lifting my head from the hard floor, I blink for a few moments to adjust to the light that entered through the small glass window. Normally at night they close it shut, so that it is pitch black, and they forget to open it. But today they decided to care about me.

I stand up from the floor, the cement feeling cold under my naked feet. I peer over, looking out the window and I see some grass and bushes-life.

"How have you been so far since being in this prison?" Ana asks me as we were sitting in her office across the same metal table from about 2 months ago. "I hate it here," I blatantly stated and she makes a small crooked smile. "That makes two of us, how ar-" "you don't understand what it's really like in here Ana," I interrupt her and she furrows her eyebrows. "You do realize I've been arrested too right?" She asks me and I laugh.

I run my hand through my hair, thankfully a guard took the jacket off from my constant panic attacks.

"You have Ana, obviously. But for your own decision you got arrested, as you should be. But I'm saying I hate it in here, because this isn't right! I'm being punished for something that I can't fucking control! You think I want to kill people Ana?! I can't control that shit! From all the fucking trauma, the name calling, e-everything!" I say and she flinches from my anger spurring out in yells and my hands moving.

"The criminal justice system was made to arrest those for a punishment, so that when they get out, they learn their lesson and hopefully come out better people. Fine, great, amazing," I say as I had my hands on the metal table and she nods her head in complete agreement.

"And they made the asylums for people like us... who have no control over ourselves. I have to get punished for that? What good does it do for me to be put in here? How is this going to make me feel better? How am I going to become a better person by being in here? My mental illness does not go away or get any better by me being in this shit hole. I'm in here, to learn a sick lesson from society," I say as my voice cracked and my eyes became watery. I sniffle and blink a few times so that the tears could go away but they just fall.

"You think a schizophrenic will have some sudden life change if they're put in here? No! They'll get out of here and their delusions and hallucinations will just continue on! And they had to suffer in this shit hole for no fucking reason! People with psychosis are not aware that they were in here to learn better. They think they deserved to be punished. Leaving them even more depressed Ana. And what's even more sad, is that their mental illness just continues on! They don't learn to get help," I rant and Ana just sat there not knowing what to say.

"Jason I- I don't know what to say, I'm sorry. By law, you have to stay in here until the case is closed," she explains and I scoff. "To give the prisons money right? Since the more people incarcerated, the more they earn right? Fucking bullshit, if you're going to analyze me, and you know I have a mental disorder, why not keep me in an asylum while you're doing so? Oh I know why. Because you guys don't care, you just want to make a profit out of us. That's all it is!" I say as I get up from my chair and I open the door as I then slam it behind me.

"Jason, I'm sorry, you know I care," she says as she opens the door and I bit my bottom lip in frustration. "I just don't get it," I say as I turn to her. "Why is it so hard for society to support the mentally ill? I know we're different, but how am I supposed to do good when all people tell me is that I am a murderer, and that I'm crazy?" I say with my voice cracking in the process.

"What's hypocritical about this system is that you almost killed your husband, and you don't get called crazy right? Watch, when you go to court, they'll see how you're under stress for taking care of poor me right? But yet when you try to defend me in court some day, it won't be the same story. And I'm the one with the mental disorder, not you," I say and I leave to go into the asylum room.