𝒢ℯ𝓉 ℳℯ 𝒪𝓊𝓉

𝟷𝟼.

Ana's POV
"It's like this obsession, you've become obsessed with him Ana. You have to let him go," Justin says as we sat in the living room during one of our nightly movie/dinner sessions. "It's not as easy as you think it is Justin," I say with my voice cracking. "He's been dead for 3 years now Ana, and every fucking day it's the same shit," he says referring to the fact that I cry over Jason, or I at least try to bring him in somehow and it ends up making me an emotional mess.

"I don't know what to say about it anymore Ana. I'm sorry he passed away, but I'm tired of it," he says and I became angry. "I listen to everything you have to say to me, I've cried with you over things you've never told anyone... and the one time I really need you... you're tired?" I say as I felt my cheeks turning warm.

"I'm not tired of you and your times that you need me Ana, I'm tired of him!" He says. "I don't want to fucking think about him anymore, I don't want to hear about him anymore! For God fucking sake you talk about him while I'm trying to go to sleep, first thing in the damn morning, while I'm having dinner with you and the kids, brought him up in our own fucking wedding," Justin says becoming furious. "I wish you'd just accept that he's gone and go on with your fucking life. He did horrible shit to you, let go of him. Be happy he's dead, he fucking deserves to die," he says making my heart tear.

"I can't be Justin, he meant too much to me," I say softly and Justin releases a quick sharp breath from his mouth to insinuate a laugh. "We'll see if when I'm dead you'll be this devastated," he mutters as he stands up and he leaves upstairs. I felt tears streaming down my face as I moved the blanket from my body. I stand up as I get the plates and cups from the couch and I walk over to the kitchen sink. I drop the stuff in and I sniffle as I washed away the food from the plates.

I left the dishes with water in them as I was now too sad to do anything. I walk to the living room to turn off the TV and I then proceed to walk upstairs to our bedroom. Justin doesn't acknowledge my presence as I walked into the room. Instead he immediately left the room to go check up on the kids down the hall.

I open my drawer and get some clean underwear and socks and a pair of pajamas. I held back the tears as I walked to the restroom. Unfortunately the bathroom has a huge echo effect, so if I cried, Justin would hear. So throughout the shower I bit my bottom lip to keep my mouth shut from releasing a harsh cry.

Walking out of the restroom now clothed and hair damp, I get settled under the bed sheets. Justin's back was faced to me as he slept. I turned my back to him and felt my heart fall and shatter into a million pieces. I close my eyes and release a shaky breath as my throat closed up.

Don't cry.

I open my eyes and my vision was blurry. I exhale again to relax but I just felt my throat tightening up more. I put my hand over my mouth as I silently began to sob. I took a deep inhale and slowly exhaled as tears fell out of my eyes. I accidentally sniffled loudly and I feel Justin's head move.

I tightened my lips together as the tears kept falling down and my nose became runny. I continue to exhale shaky breaths and sniffle making Justin move here and there. I didn't want him to wake up, but it's his arms I needed this time.

I feel Justin move and he places his hand on my waist and he raises himself up making my eyes widen as he was now awake. I kept my back to him and I remained quiet. "Baby, you don't have to hide the tears from me," he says and I couldn't hold it in any longer. I choked out a sob and I grabbed onto the pillow, squeezing it in my grasp.

"He didn't deserve it," I say meaning that I wish Jason would have not killed himself. But he did it anyways. Because of me. Justin scoots next to me spooning me as I cried my heart out. He places his arm around me making me feel relaxed.