Nada

Children Run, Adults Talk

Y/N did not see Hoseok again. She kept asking for him, the others would look at each other and then make excuses. But she eventually realized that he didn't want to see her.

That hurt.

Hoseok felt like he was unworthy of her. He blamed himself for everything that had happened. They all tried talking to him, but he closed himself off. He'd stop by the hospital when he knew she'd be sleeping, just to torture himself with something he knew he couldn't have.

He'd hurt her. He didn't deserve her. He was so caught up and lost in his own head he didn't see he was still doing it.

It was Namjoon who took her home after she was released and helped her get settled in. He was starting to get impatient with Hoseok. Y/N didn't say anything but he could tell she was hurting. She needed him, she needed him to comfort her in only the ways he could because none of them had the same level of intimacy he did. Hoseok had hurt her and he was the only one who could soothe that hurt.

It was several weeks. Several weeks of Y/N slowly trying to build her body up. Several weeks of Hoseok ducking his head and quickly walking in the opposite direction when he saw her on campus.

And Y/N was getting pissed. His behavior was selfish and immature and she was tired of it. She wanted to talk things out and all he was doing was running away.

Namjoon knew something was going to give soon.

"Hobi, I know you don't want to hear it but..."

"Then don't say it. Because I don't want to hear it."

"Hobi, you're gonna...."

"Shut up, Joon." Hoseok had snapped before walking away from him. He wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish, perhaps he was just trying to punish himself. But he wasn't thinking long-term. If he had he would've remembered how Y/N was and hopefully come to her before she came to him.

-

But he didn't, so she came to him. And she was mad. Her fellow dancers took one look at her face and quietly disappeared into other practice rooms as she strode towards the one she and Hoseok used. It was the time he normally practiced and she was sure he hadn't changed his campus schedule since they'd gone over it, so he should be here.

She threw the door open and, yep, he was. He started and looked into the mirror only to see her standing there, looking like she wanted to murder him. He gulped and paled slightly before looking down at the ground. She closed the door behind her, set her bag on the floor, and stepped towards him. He felt like each step matched with the pounding of his heart in his ears. This was it. This was where he lost her. And he deserved it.

She grabbed him by the collar and he didn't resist as she slammed him up against the mirror, glaring up at him. He bit his lip nervously as she just looked in his eyes, reading what she could in there. He didn't know what she saw, she didn't tell him.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Her voice had an edge of ice and he shivered and hung his head.

"Nothing." He finally whispered and he felt her grip his collar tighter.

"Nothing?!" Now she sounded disbelieving. "You call me a slut and a whore, you refuse to come to me when I beg the others to bring you, you walk away every time I see you, and you have NOTHING TO SAY?!" He kept looking down and there was silence for a moment before he shook his head.

"You're not a slut, Y/N. You're not a whore. I shouldn't have said that." There was more silence until, in frustration, Y/N slammed her hand against the glass. He winced. She should be mad at him. She should.

"Why are you doing this to me?!" His eyes flicked towards her face in alarm to see hers filling with tears. He wanted to reach down, he wanted to wipe them away, but he didn't deserve to. "Why are you acting like such a child, Hoseok? Why are you abandoning me? Why are you hurting me?" He blinked and stared at her. Abandoning her? No....no, he was protecting her. From himself.

"I'm not abandoning you...."

"Bullshit. You have everything of me. I've given you everything. And you act like it's nothing, like you can just disconnect from me and leave me alone and it won't affect me. My ex-fiance tried to kill me, I've spent weeks in the hospital, and now I'm out but still recovering.  And I have to do it by myself because the one man who has always been there for me and has touched every inch of me has decided that my problems aren't worth dealing with anymore." He shook his head furiously. No, no, she had the wrong idea....she let go of his shirt and stepped back, quickly wiping the back of her hand over her eyes.

"Come find me when you feel like acting like an adult, Hoseok. Adults talk. Children run." She shrugged, tiredness overwhelming her. She'd overexerted herself. "Or just run like everyone else does." She turned on her heel and walked away leaving Hoseok in stunned silence.

He'd been so wrapped up in himself, it had never occurred to him how she might view it. He'd just assumed she wouldn't want anything to do with him. The others had been trying to tell him but....he was an idiot. And he'd been pretty mean to them when they attempted.

He slid down the mirror and buried his face in his hands. God, such an idiot. But her idiot. Even if she wasn't his when it was all over, she deserved him acting like an adult until then.