Nada

Truly Wanted

Y/N had moved, covering her face with her hands and facing away from him. It took Hoseok a bit of time to fully process what he was seeing. It looked like the photos had been uploaded on some sort of scummy website for hosting things like this. The screenshot showed the window was open in an email so evidently some type of link had been sent out.

Of course. How else would the noble, pure regulators of Y/N's past find this? He took a shaky breath and shut the screen off, only now noticing Y/N's new position.

"Y/N." He said quietly. There was no response so he walked around to the other side of her chair and crouched down to her level. She couldn't see him but she could sense him and tried to turn away again but he gently caught her wrists and held her in place. "Y/N look at me." She shook her head behind her hands. "Please?" He pleaded. "Pretty please?" Her hands were still covering her face so he sighed before wrapping her in his arms and resting his chin on the top of her head. He didn't say anything, just held her tight and safe and rocked her slightly.

At first she didn't respond but soon her body was shaking with quiet sobs. The waiter approached with their dessert but Hoseok shook his head and the man discreetly moved away. He didn't say anything. What could he say? It's okay? It wasn't. She had just been violated in one of the worst ways possible, her trust exploited in an attempt to humiliate her. Hoseok honestly wondered how Mordecai thought this would win her back.

"Y/N, please look at me." He said after a couple minutes. This time she complied, sitting up but still keeping her face down. He gently brushed her hair back so he could see her face clearly and wiped the tears off her cheeks before ducking down so his face was in her line of vision. "Hi." He said softly, wiping more tears away. "I'm so sorry he did this to you." A choked sob came out of her mouth again and she furiously wiped at her eyes with one hand while covering her mouth with the other. "Let's get you some privacy, okay?" Inside Hoseok was shaking and furious. But outside he was calm, cool, and collected. Because that's what Y/N needed at the moment.

In the car she'd choke on her sobs, trying to keep them in, stop for a moment, then choke again. Hoseok let her fight it out, waiting until she was ready to talk.

When her breathing finally steadied and the tears were only occasionally falling he asked his question.

"What are you feeling?"

"I feel..." She wiped at tears again. "I feel so betrayed. I feel so confused. I don't know how he got them. We used an app and everything was supposed to be deleted. So I don't know how.....unless he downloaded them. But then I should've gotten a notification...." Her voice trailed off.

"It doesn't really matter. We know he has them now."

"Yeah, and who knows...who knows for how long." A horrible thought struck her and before she could remember who she was talking to she voiced it. "Oh my god, do you think he's held on to them this whole time? Oh god, he's probably been masturbating to them." She covered her face again only to have Hoseok gently pry her hands away.

"Don't hide from me, please." He said quietly. Quietly because he was angry at even the thought of that fucker thinking about her. But to her it sounded like he was trying not to startle her.

"I don't feel..." She sat up straighter. "I don't feel ashamed. I didn't do anything wrong. I loved him, I was a consenting adult, there was nothing wrong with it. But...." She sniffed. "I feel incredibly violated. And...." She coughed. "I don't believe what I was taught but I was in it for so long....there's a part of me that feels dirty, like I'm a whore, like who would even want me after seeing how used I am...I mean the evidence is right there...."

"Stop." Hoseok's tone was firm and brokered no dissent. "You're not dirty. Liking sex and being sexual doesn't make you a whore. It just means you trusted someone who is a complete asshole and didn't see how precious what he had was."

"I know." She whispered. "I believe that. But there's this small voice that never fully goes away that tells me I'm all used up and that's bad and once people find out they'll run away..."

"Shhhhh." Hoseok leaned over and enveloped her in a hug. "They won't run. If they do they don't deserve you." She started crying again and he felt so angry at the man who had done this to her.

"I know it's stupid but what if no one wants me anymore...."

"I want you." Hoseok said without thinking, then tensed as he realized what he'd just said.